Game-time forecast: hot and humid.
Okay, Brian ... you're not in the hole, not on deck ... you're up! Now go!
Thanks... ChiTown... It's hard to describe this hole that I'm in... It's dark... There are strange noises... a dripping sound.... Like a giant faucet that doesn't quite shut off. I figure I'm about 200 feet below the surface and it's definitely lonely down here... No Human has ever been here before. I'm sorry... Check that... Mel Gibson is here with me. For Twins Daily... I'm Riverbrian reporting.
Things to Think about:
1. Joe Mauer -- Yep... Thought #1 is Joe Mauer. Because here is what I have to say about Joe Mauer. It's about Flipping time. I will never knock Joe's talent... He has one of the sweetest swings I've ever seen. I don't care if his skill set doesn't match the typical 1st basemen offensively. I don't even care if 2014 hasn't been typical Joe like production. I think he will come back and be Joe again. But... as much as I support Joe and I do support Joe. His latest injury and 500 days on the DL again was pretty much the straw that broke my camel's back. Joe hasn't been able to stay healthy. He gets injured way too easily and it's happened enough that it's past the point of what could be called bad luck. I swear he could catch a cold and it would knock him out for a month. Yep... Mr. Positive has gone negative on Joe and it has nothing to do with his ability. His ability is useless if he's on the DL.
2. Tommy Milone -- Tonight we get our first look at Tommy Milone in a Twins Uniform. I still don't understand how we acquired Tommy Milone for Sam Fuld but good for us. Tommy is left handed... 27 years old and he was born in Saugus California which is part of the L.A. area. He played college ball for USC and was drafted in 2008 by the Nationals in the 10th round. As a minor league pitcher with the Nats organization... He just kept pitching good and he walked up the farm system without pause... One Level at a time. In December of 2011... He was part of the package that the Nationals shipped to Oakland in return for Gio Gonzalez. Tommy hit the A's rotation in 2012 and he kept on doing what he was doing in the Minors... He just kept pitching well. He has tossed 468 MLB innings and his career ERA is exactly average at 3.84 while striking out 6.5 per 9. His fastball kinda floats in the upper 80's but it doesn't seem to matter because he gets people out. It's the state of the Twins rotation... I'm excited about an acquisition of an arm with an ERA+ of 100 exactly. I'm looking forward to tonight.
3. Houston -- Houston is a major city on the Gulf of Mexico. From the Sky it looks like concentric circles for Hurricanes to target. If they are not getting hit with a hurricane... They are housing Hurricane refugees. If you have a problem... any problem at all... You call Houston. Residents of Houston are tired of hearing about problems. Conversations are never started with a hello... It's always... "Houston... We've got a problem... I've got a problem... A Friend of mine has a Problem. Houston has a unique climate. It's called Humid Stinking I can't freaking breathe it's so Hot Subtropical. Houston, New Orleans and Mbeya,Tanzania are the only places this climate exists. It is characterized by On Fire Humid summers and Hot Humid Winters where it's just hot enough that it's comfortable enough for the Devil to walk around. The Devil refuses to come out during Summer Months because it's way too hot. Houston Humidity averages 347%. The Average Houstonite spends approximately 45 seconds outdoors in summer and changes shirts 5 times a day.
4. Brad Peacock -- Tonight is special because tonight... Two guys who were traded together will face off against each other. Both Milone and Peacock were part of the Nationals farm system and were both traded to the A's together. Billy Beane... ever the wheeler dealer has now shipped them both off. Peacock was traded earlier to the Astros for Jed Lowrie. Brad is 26 years old and was born in Palm Beach Florida. He was a 41st round pick in 2006. If you ever wonder why teams keep drafting players after 327 rounds. Brad Peacock is one reason why. Every once in awhile... They pay off. Brad Peacock is part of the pheasant family. He has extravagant tail feathers that he shows off during courtship and he has a diet of Flower Petals and insects and he is fully equipped for urination ease.
5. Shark Attacks -- I was reading a story about a 10 year old girl who suffered a shark bite in shallow water in Cocoa Beach Florida. Thankfully... She's going to be OK... But it got me thinking about how infrequent Shark Attacks really are. So I looked it up... According to the information... There are approximately 75 unprovoked Shark Attacks yearly around the world. I love the use of the word unprovoked... It made me wonder who is provoking them? I remember being on an airplane flight and the lady sitting next to me was terrified about the plane crashing... She couldn't relax. I told her not to worry... statistically... you are more likely to be bitten by a shark then be in an airplane crash. She started to feel better when I told her that... Then I showed her my scar from the time I was bitten by a shark... in the water after my plane went down off the coast of Florida. I told her don't worry... we are nowhere near Florida.