Game-time forecast: Sunny. Winds blowing out to right field at 10-15 m.p.h. Temperature around 65.
And since Brian missed yesterday, he will now give us 10 things to think about!! A whole whopping 10!! Woohoo!
Gulp... 10!!! I feel like Steve Martin in Roxanne when the guy hits 20 on the dartboard. OK!!! Here we go
Things to Think About:
1. Oakland -- Oakland is an agricultural community across the bay From San Francisco. Oakland Agriculture is very important in the identity of Oakland. They lead the world in the production of Oaks which are quickly bulldozed down so they can build more rough neighborhoods for crime growth which has become the cities leading export. Oakland contends with a daily fog which is caused by remnants that floated over the bay from the heavy pot smoking in the 60's done by the Grateful Dead and Sly and the Family Stone. The Pointer Sisters hail from Oakland and so did Tom Hanks who was a former member of the Pointer Sisters. Oakland tourism has increased to 2.5 million people every year. Aproximately 1.2 million of them... have been killed
2. The A's -- I really don't want to like the A's... But I can't help it... I do like them. They play baseball the right way. They play it hard... They compete and they have a good time doing it. I can honestly say... I've been entertained nearly every time I watch them... However... They could use some razors... The Beard thing is a little over done. Unless they plan on joining ZZ Top... Just a normal scruffy beard will suffice. Sometimes closeups reveal crumbs of food from the pre-game meal and I've been told that Girls really don't like big beards like that. However... They are probably just jealous because they can't grow them.
3. Billy Beane -- He is a fearless General Manager who has never won the title and he is selling his teams future to go for the title this year. The Acquisition of Jon Lester and Jeff SAH-MAR-JA (I was too lazy to try and figure out how to spell it... besides I have 10 thoughts to complete). Where was I... Oh yeah... The Acquisition of Lester and that other guy... Pretty much announced to everyone on the planet that the A's are going for it. Fearlessly... Beane parted with Cespedes and hot shot prospect Addison Russell to improve that rotation. The dude has guts.
4. Tom Milone -- A by-product of all this going for it was an excess of pitching and this spit Tom Milone out and the Twins were able to acquire him for Sam Fuld. I still don't understand how that happened but it did. Now I wonder when we will see him pitch for the Twins. After all... his current ERA seems to be an improvement over our current ERA's.
5. Jon Lester -- The Twins Face Jon Lester tonight... Jon is left handed... This means that his right hand has atrophied and he throws like a girl with the normal hand. He's 30 years old and comes from Tacoma Washington. Tacoma is a Czech word that means "Rain on my car after I just washed it". In High School he was named the Gatorade Player of the Year for Washington 2000. He received a life time supply of Gatorade for this accomplishment but it was before they came out with any of the new cool flavors so all he gets is the yellow stuff. He was drafted by the Red Sox in the 2nd Round in 2002 and got a million dollar signing bonus which he quickly spent on any other soft drink that isn't Gatorade. He made his debut with the Red Sox in 2006... That very same year... he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma which is a form of cancer that is treatable with Gatorade. He has established himself as one of the top pitchers in the game and the Red Sox just moved him to the A's and got Cespedes in return. Lester will be a free agent after the season concludes and will be free to join any club for next season. Cespesdes is not. On the Mound... He Mixes in a curveball on occasion with different varieties of fastballs. One that sinks... One that cuts and one that doesn't do a thing but come in hard and straight.
6. Foul Territory -- The A's play in Oakland Alameda County Coliseum... It's isn't a Coliseum exactly... It's more like a thing with seats. Everyone knows that a Colosseum is where Christians face Lions. The only place that happens today is with lost missionaries who took a wrong turn. The Oakland Alameda County Coliseum is now called the O.co Coliseum and this because everything is shortened and combined these days. Miller Genuine Draft is MGD and Bud is now Ba. The unique feature of O.Co is the Miles and Miles of foul territory. The Stadium was designed this way so they could land airplanes in the off season. Which is something that they've never done despite the clever design. As a result... only 7 uncaught foul balls have ever been hit since it opened. The stadium is also built below ground. Only the upper deck is visible from outside and since it's below ground in a giant hole. It can also double as a very large swimming pool. They filled it with water once... hired life guards... but it was over run with Sea Lions... and they attacked the Christians who came to swim... And the battle began... AHH... I see... That's why it was called a Coliseum.
7. Our Twins -- They are our Twins... They can frustrate us... They can thrill us... They can play sloppy... they can play great. They can lose and they can win... But in the end... They are our Twins and they have always been our Twins. My Wife has the exact same thoughts about me and she is watching me less these days.
8. Yohan Pino -- (Setting: Ellis Island)
Immigration Official: Next
Immigrant: (Steps Forward while doing an odd looking dance)
Immigration Official: Last Name?
Immigrant: (Turning to the Immigrant behind him) Is there a bathroom... It's been a long boat ride.
Immigrant behind him: Do you have to Pee?
Immigration Official: (Now Impatient) It's a Long Line... Last name please... Right now.
Immigrant: (Turning to face the Immigration official while answering the immigrant behind him). Pee? No
Immigration Official: P... I... N... O... Pino... Take this to the medical inspector... Welcome to America... Next!!!
9. Trees -- We don't have many trees in Grand Forks. I looked out my window and noticed a dog running by real fast... Greyhound like speed and I thought that I see this a lot in Grand Forks. The Dogs run full speed and they are extremely fast... Faster then normal dogs. And then it made sense... The Trees are so far apart around here.
10. 10 Thoughts??? -- OK... Man UP... You can do this.... You know... I think the last time I had 10 thoughts in a single day... I was 3 sheets to the wind and I told everyone at the party that I had figured out how to solve world peace... all we had to do was stop fighting Man!!! I then let everyone know that I loved each and everyone of them and that was the 2nd thought because I couldn't remember any of their names. The third thought was when I told everyone I was dating Kathy Ireland but I had to break up with her because she kissed like a pez dispenser. The 4th thought was when I showed everyone my tattoo on my butt. I didn't have a tattoo but I did have an ink pen that created one on the spot. The 5th Thought was when I told everyone that I was reincarnated and in a past life... I invented Ravioli. The 6th Thought was really deep... I took a deep breath and explained that it would be awesome if we all got naked so I wasn't the only one. The 7th Thought... I decided to pontificate on the importance of the color Green but I couldn't decide on which shade of Green so that thought didn't last long. The 8th Thought was when I mapped out a strategy for winning the stuffing raisins into your nose contest. I won but it turns out that I was the only participant. The 9th thought was about my lack of hat and that's when I noticed the lamp shade and the Final... 10th thought was... Oh My God... I'm about to pass out.
Edited by ChiTownTwinsFan, 07 August 2014 - 06:26 PM.