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Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 7/8 @ 9:10pm CT

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#121 Tibs

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:52 PM

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? They say he's all right now.
I couldn't be a player because of bad eyesight, so I decided to be an umpire instead.

#122 snepp

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:54 PM

The audio for FSN keeps cutting out every once in a while and it was been doing it for at least the last week or so. Is it doing that for anyone else?


No.




I'm jealous.

#123 sampleSizeOfOne

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:54 PM

Twins Daily. Come for the baseball, stay for the musical encyclopedia.


Twinsdaily. Come for the baseball, stay for the textiles


The bulk of my textile knowledge is from the ballad of harry lewis:



And there is an instance doily should be capitalized, namely when it is well, a name, as in D'oyle Carte.

Good luck on the curtains, Ash!

#124 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:55 PM

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.

#125 Riverbrian

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:56 PM

Quick, Brian! What's the dirtiest joke you know?


As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

(wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

Ok let's change the joke...

Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

 

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#126 Willihammer

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:57 PM

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)


How much do you need to fashion a noose?

#127 LaBombo

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:57 PM

I would drape myself in velvet, if it was sociably acceptable.


BBC correspondent D. Bowie makes a persuasive argument that ch ch ch changes are on the way, so don't recycle the velvet just yet.

Also, are the Twins shutting out the SubMariners through seven? Cool!

#128 Tibs

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 09:59 PM

As an airplane is about to crash... A female passenger jumps up frantically and says... "If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman."

(wait.. I can't finish this joke on TD) (Unless you mean... Pig fell into the mud)

Ok let's change the joke...

Airplane about to crash... Woman says... If I'm going to die... I want to die feeling like a woman.... She removes all her clothing and says... "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up... He removes his shirt and says, "Here... iron this!".

Heeeyyyyyoooooo!!!
I couldn't be a player because of bad eyesight, so I decided to be an umpire instead.

#129 ashburyjohn

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:00 PM

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.


I may have rounded.

#130 ashburyjohn

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:02 PM

How much do you need to fashion a noose?


Oh, a fashion noose takes twice as much.

#131 howeda7

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:02 PM

You have to bunt here....

#132 Guest_USAFChief_*

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:03 PM

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.



This seems way complicated to me. My suggestion is to not buy any house that has windows wider than a standard roll of aluminum foil.

#133 glunn

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:03 PM

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.


Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

#134 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:03 PM

I may have rounded.


If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade. :)

#135 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:04 PM

Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.


I didn't really explain that very well, but I knew what I meant.

#136 Riverbrian

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:04 PM

When making your own curtains, or even when buying them 'ready made,' you need twice the length in fabric as the length of the windows you are covering. So, if she needs 100 yards of fabric, that would mean you have 50 yards of window to cover. (No, I've never made curtains, but I've had them made for me; and I've bought plenty; and my mom's made them.)

Okay, thinking further ... long windows? ... then how many yards of fabric she would need would also depend on the width of the fabric, as she'd be making panels and sewing them together.


I love this about game threads. The fact that making curtains can be both sensibly and whimsically posted. The Folks at Indians Daily are jealous of us.

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

 

President of the "Baseball Player Positional Flexibility" Club 

Founded 4-23-16 


#137 JB_Iowa

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:05 PM

I may have rounded.


Nah, depending on the fabric, you want 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times the width of your windows. Then you figure out how many panels that is and take it times the appropriate length plus hems and headers to caluculate yardage.

Depending on what fabric you are using, 100 yards really isn't that outrageous (especially if it is sheer or semi-sheer).

Going to go crochet some doilies now.

#138 Tibs

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:05 PM

Until tonight the only thing I knew about curtains was how to open and close them.

I'm still not completely sure what a doily is. Some kind of mat?
I couldn't be a player because of bad eyesight, so I decided to be an umpire instead.

#139 ashburyjohn

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:06 PM

You have to bunt here....


He missed the sign from third base. 500 dollar fine for getting the runner over to third.

#140 Guest_USAFChief_*

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 10:06 PM

If that's the case, then you have yourself to blame for this escapade. :)

Counsellor Glunn pretty much already established this, no?