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Thread: Game Thread: Tigers@Twins 9/24 7:10PM

  1. #41
    Senior Member All-Star Winston Smith's Avatar
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    Doumit just got a cookie!
    This comment brought to you from the Rosedale Mall studio by Hamm's Beer, brewed in the land of sky blue waters.

  2. #42
    Speediest Moderator All-Star snepp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Your assignment: a 200 word essay on the bright spots in tonight's game.

    / for extra credit: make it 50 words or less
    Doumit.


    The End.
    "Maybe you could go grab a bat and ballÖ and learn something. Maybe you will get it."
    - Strib commenter educating the elitists on the value of RBI's

  3. #43
    Senior Member All-Star James's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Your assignment: a 200 word essay on the bright spots in tonight's game.

    / for extra credit: make it 50 words or less
    I posted too soon. Doumit is trying to create off-season trade value.
    You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.

  4. #44
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Carnac: Doug Fister.
    Ed: No. No no no.
    Carnac: Come on, play along. It'll be fun.
    Ed: No.
    Carnac: It could be about Doug Bernier. Fisting the ball into short right field.
    Ed: Nope. Not falling for it.
    Carnac: It could be about Dougie Baseball, punching an opposing minor league manger. That'd be OK, right?
    Ed: <pauses> No. I know where this one is going. Nope, nope, nope.
    Carnac: <pouts adorably>
    Ed: Oh, all right. I never can stay mad at you. Open the envelope.
    Carnac: <pauses> Never mind. You were right. And besides, Doug barely knows her.

  5. #45
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Carnac: Pixie and Dixie.
    Ed: You mean the old Hanna Barbera characters? The ones with Mr. Jinks?
    Carnac: We don't know. Haven't read the question yet, have I?
    Ed: Correct you are, your Magnificence. The is the true testament to your powers. I would wager that not one person in a million can guess the actual question. No, not one person in one billion. And yet, you, with your monumental...
    Carnac: Can it, clown. The Alpo ad is waiting to run, we can't take all night.
    Ed: My apologies, o wisest of the wise. Would you please open the envelope?
    Carnac: After one too many mojitos at the season closing picnic, what will coach Brunansky call Eduardo Escobar and Josh Willingham?
    See, this is frustrating to me.

    I KNOW this is funny. It has to be. It's Ash.

    I'm just not bright enough to figure out why.

    Hey...wait...that's not why it's funny, right?
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

  6. #46
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Carnac: It could be about Dougie Baseball, punching an opposing minor league manger. That'd be OK, right?
    Btw, never got a chance to post this anywhere, but when I was in Ft. Myers not too long ago, one of my Dad's attendants was at that Miracle game and was telling my mom about it. He basically said that the other manager was totally taunting Dougie. Not that that excuses anything, but there was definitely provocation.

  7. #47
    Senior Member All-Star James's Avatar
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    The best thing about my refrigerator right now: It's full of beer.

    I probably won't get to say that tomorrow if the Twins keep batting this way with runners in scoring position.
    You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.

  8. #48
    Twins Moderator All-Star ChiTownTwinsFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAFChief View Post
    See, this is frustrating to me.

    I KNOW this is funny. It has to be. It's Ash.

    I'm just not bright enough to figure out why.

    Hey...wait...that's not why it's funny, right?
    I don't think that's the reason.

  9. #49
    Twins Moderator MVP USAFChief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post
    The best thing about my refrigerator right now: It's full of beer.
    The best thing about my refrigerator right now: it's damn near empty.
    Every post is not every other post. - a wise man

  10. #50
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer
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    Gardy hasn't given up on the notion of Duensing being a starter. Dear God...

  11. #51
    Senior Member All-Star James's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by notoriousgod71 View Post
    Gardy hasn't given up on the notion of Duensing being a starter. Dear God...
    Yeah, I heard that. As soon as I heard them say that, I thought: "Really? I've given up on that idea."
    You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.

  12. #52
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by USAFChief View Post
    See, this is frustrating to me.

    I KNOW this is funny. It has to be. It's Ash.
    No, it's probably just not very good. The joke is that Escobear is (I think) the smallest in stature on the team, and the Hammer is from Alabama. I made reference to Mr. Jinks earlier, and it got me to thinking about Pixie and Dixie. And finally, that Bruno likes nicknames that verge on the politically incorrect (which hardly makes him unique but I nevertheless chose him as a foil), as I would assume that both players would go WTF if they actually heard such a comment and just chalk it up to the booze talking. That's all there was.

    "Do the joke. Get the laugh*. Move on."

    * If any
    Last edited by ashburyjohn; 09-24-2013 at 10:01 PM.

  13. #53
    Senior Member All-Star Winston Smith's Avatar
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    Duensing, Pelf, Korea, fill in the blank maybe Gibson and Diamond who needs to sign free agent starters?
    This comment brought to you from the Rosedale Mall studio by Hamm's Beer, brewed in the land of sky blue waters.

  14. #54
    Senior Member All-Star James's Avatar
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    Of all the likes I've received on my posts, 85% come from Glunn.

    Thanks for making me feel valued.
    You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.

  15. #55
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post
    Of all the likes I've received on my posts, 85% come from Glunn.

    Thanks for making me feel valued.
    My most hated post of the night, but I still felt compelled to award a Pity Like.

  16. #56
    Senior Member All-Star Winston Smith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    No, it's probably just not very good. The joke is that Escobear is (I think) the smallest in stature on the team, and the Hammer is from Alabama. I made reference to Mr. Jinks earlier, and it got me to thinking about Pixie and Dixie. And finally, that Bruno likes nicknames that verge on the politically incorrect (which hardly makes him unique but I nevertheless chose him as a foil), as I would assume that both players would go WTF if they actually heard such a comment and just chalk it up to the booze talking. That's all there was.

    "Do the joke. Get the laugh*. Move on."

    * If any
    I get it you where watching the Hammer does Pixie and Dixie.
    This comment brought to you from the Rosedale Mall studio by Hamm's Beer, brewed in the land of sky blue waters.

  17. #57
    Head Moderator MVP glunn's Avatar
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    I wonder how things would have turned out if the Twins had matched the Angels' offer for Hunter. Torii is still a pretty good player,

  18. #58
    Senior Member All-Star James's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    My most hated post of the night, but I still felt compelled to award a Pity Like.
    I knew that was an ironic like.
    You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.

  19. #59
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winston Smith View Post
    Duensing, Pelf, Korea, fill in the blank maybe Gibson and Diamond who needs to sign free agent starters?
    Hoping more from Japan than Korea this time around.

  20. #60
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post
    I knew that was an ironic like.
    Really fishing for 'em now, aintcha?

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