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Thread: Game Thread: Indians@Twins 7/19 7:10PM

  1. #21
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    When I was a little younger than you, I had 3 theories about raising kids. Now, I have 3 kids, and no theories.
    Oops, that may have been an oldie. How about this, then: one of the wisest things any parent ever told me was that when you go from 2 kids to 3, you switch from a man-to-man defense to a zone.

  2. #22
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    I enjoy fishing. I define fishing as drinking beer in a rowboat on a sunny day, about 20 yards from shore. There, I think I'm caught up - game thread started early and I didn't.

  3. #23
    Senior Member All-Star James's Avatar
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    We must be really anxious for Twins baseball if we're already up to 23 posts before the lineups are announced.
    You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.

  4. #24
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    I enjoy fishing. I define fishing as drinking beer in a rowboat on a sunny day, about 20 yards from shore. There, I think I'm caught up - game thread started early and I didn't.
    OK... When it rains... The Worms in an effort to avoid the water come out of the ground.

    If... Worms make effort to avoid water... How do Fish know that they like eating them?

    And... If Cats avoid water... And they do... How do Cats know that they like eating Fish?

    The questions we run across in life are vast and difficult.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  5. #25
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post
    We must be really anxious for Twins baseball if we're already up to 23 posts before the lineups are announced.
    LOL... We are simply sitting in the left field stands... Waiting for the game to start.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  6. #26
    Twins Moderator All-Star twinsnorth49's Avatar
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    ChiTown, we need up to the minute updates from Vegas until game time!

  7. #27
    Speediest Moderator All-Star snepp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post
    We must be really anxious for Twins baseball if we're already up to 23 posts before the lineups are announced.
    A subtle distinction. We're anxious for Twins baseball, not necessarily "Twins baseball."
    "Maybe you could go grab a bat and ball… and learn something. Maybe you will get it."
    - Strib commenter educating the elitists on the value of RBI's

  8. #28
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    I think underwater must be an interesting place to view.

    All the Different plant species... Different kinds of fish... Big and Small. A collection of different items that are accidentally and purposely dropped from boats... Jimmy Hoffa and Homeowners hit hard by the housing bubble collapse.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  9. #29
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    And... If Cats avoid water... And they do... How do Cats know that they like eating Fish?
    For that matter, how does Science explain catfish?

  10. #30
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    LOL... We are simply sitting in the left field stands... Waiting for the game to start.
    Way waaaay out in left field does sound about right.

  11. #31
    Twins News Team All-Star TheLeviathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post
    We must be really anxious for Twins baseball if we're already up to 23 posts before the lineups are announced.
    I sense a lot of regret coming in that case.....

  12. #32
    Senior Member All-Star
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    For that matter, how does Science explain catfish?
    I know an old joke about a catfish and an Iraqi woman.
    Chris Hermann solves everything. hat tip to jokin

  13. #33
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GCTF View Post
    I know an old joke about a catfish and an Iraqi woman.
    Ed McMahon: Hmm... A Catfish and an Iraqi woman... What is the difference between a Catfish and an Iraqi Woman?

    Someone had to do it... Might as well be Ed McMahon.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  14. #34
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    Ed McMahon: Hmm... A Catfish and an Iraqi woman... What is the difference between a Catfish and an Iraqi Woman?

    Someone had to do it... Might as well be Ed McMahon.
    Nooooooooooo!

    No wait, make it a challenge - come up with a punchline that doesn't have to do with whiskers (which would get the winner banned).

  15. #35
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Interesting Lineup... Plouffe has been moved to the 2 hole. It looks like Doumit is about to become a RF guy with Parm and Arcia in Rochester.

    Dozier - 2B
    Plouffe - 3B
    Mauer - C
    Morneau - 1B
    Doumit - RF
    Colabello - DH
    Hicks - CF
    Thomas - LF
    Florimon - SS
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  16. #36
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn View Post
    Nooooooooooo!

    No wait, make it a challenge - come up with a punchline that doesn't have to do with whiskers (which would get the winner banned).
    OK... Umm...

    1. A Catfish has a better chance of having to pay an electric bill.
    2. You don't have to smoke an Iraqi Woman for improved flavor.
    3. A Catfish has Barbels... An Iraqi Woman has Barbarians.
    4. Catfish are known as an invasive species... An Iraqi Woman is known as an invaded species.
    5. In terms of diet... Catfish are scavengers... In terms of diet... Iraqi Woman are scavengers. OK... No Difference with that one. Move on to #6.
    6. Women make up 65% of the population in Iraq... Catfish make up 30%
    7. Iraqi Women must wear black clothing and a veil in public... Catfish shop at JC Penney.

    I was trying to get to 10 but that's all I got... I apologize for failing.
    Last edited by Riverbrian; 07-19-2013 at 05:49 PM.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  17. #37
    Senior Member Triple-A
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    I feel like we should give Correia a couple of at bats here and there. He has only grounded in 1 double play in his career. Give him a shot!

  18. #38
    Twins Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Ok... I thought of one more.

    8. Finding a Catfish in Northern Ontario is very common... Finding an Iraqi Woman in Northern Ontario... You have to document it and notify the Department of Natural resources.
    A Skeleton walks into a bar and says... "Give me a beer... And a mop".

  19. #39
    Senior Member All-Star Bark's Lounge's Avatar
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    My money's on the Italian tonight. 2-4, Double, 1st Career HR, 2 RBI.

    Č meglio vivere un giorno come un leone che 100 anni come una pecora!
    "I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. 'Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky'."
    Henry Jones, Sr.

  20. #40
    Twins Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    9. Lipstick

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