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Thread: Article: Series Preview: Twins vs Mets, 4/12

  1. #121
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Hey Pedro, remember to get a cup of coffee with your cup of coffee, they're free tonight!

  2. #122
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    Why did the Vanimal cross the road?
    To retrieve the ball from the home run he gave up earlier in the evening, which finally landed just now?

  3. #123
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    Why did the Vanimal cross the road?
    To get to Popeyes?

  4. #124
    Super Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    Why did the Vanimal cross the road?
    To lay an egg at Target Field.

    A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar. "Pitch for Worley," he tells her.

  5. #125
    Super Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Vanimal walks into a bar... The Priest and Rabbi Ducked...

    Horse walks into a bar... Vanimal is tending bar and asks why the long face. Horse say evolutionary design. Vanimal doesn't understand what the horse said and gives up 9 runs in 1 inning.

  6. #126
    Super Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Two cowboys are out on the range, when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He rides twenty miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says, "but here's what you do. Take a knife and cut the wound, and remove the poison with your mouth." "I ain't doin' *that*,"the cowpoke protested. "Take Vanimal with you," the sawbones says, "he sucks". Vanimal then proceeds to give up 9 runs in 1 inning, and the wounded cowboy is saved.

  7. #127
    Super Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    Where is Glunn? He laughs at this stuff.

  8. #128
    Anybody else annoyed FSN couldn't bother to show a single replay of Hernandez's last pitch to see what Florimon must have seen to visit the mound? Guys in the truck head home after the 2nd or what?

  9. #129
    Senior Member All-Star Badsmerf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MilwaukeeTwins View Post
    Anybody else annoyed FSN couldn't bother to show a single replay of Hernandez's last pitch to see what Florimon must have seen to visit the mound? Guys in the truck head home after the 2nd or what?
    Yes. WTF.
    Do or do not. There is no try.

  10. #130
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Well SNY showed it. He sort of dipped to his right side like his ankle gave in. Just landed funky I think.

  11. #131
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer Gibby's Avatar
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    I'd rather watch my daughters play volleyball than this.

  12. #132
    Super Moderator MVP Riverbrian's Avatar
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    This ain't baseball... That was the worst catch of a soft toss by a SS and a top ten worst slide by Duda in one play.

  13. #133
    Senior Member All-Star Willihammer's Avatar
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    Well that makes 2 tailor made double plays botched

  14. #134
    Super Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willihammer View Post
    Well that makes 2 tailor made double plays botched
    Worley with the bad start, Trevor with an error, Florimon with an error... for those of you keeping score at home, that's WTF.

  15. #135
    Senior Member All-Star Ultima Ratio's Avatar
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    Why not? Good grief.

  16. #136
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer Gibby's Avatar
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    A couple of grand slams and we are right back in this thing.

  17. #137
    Senior Member All-Star Badsmerf's Avatar
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    **** this **** show. I'm going to watch river monsters or something.
    Do or do not. There is no try.

  18. #138
    Senior Member Big-Leaguer mikeee's Avatar
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    6 unearned runs....

  19. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverbrian View Post
    This ain't baseball....
    ---Well that's for damn sure. It's nothing remotely resembling baseball, more like watching a troop of drunk baboons trying to hump a doorknob.

  20. #140
    Super Moderator MVP ashburyjohn's Avatar
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    Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    A: Finding half a worm.
    Q:What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
    A: "Now pitching, Vance Worley."

    What's 6'2", 230 pounds, and has a great ERA?
    Vance Worley, I lied about the ERA.

    What did the Devil say to the lawyer?
    "At least neither of us is Vance Worley."

    I'm gone, g'night. Leaving the avatar up in case it brings any cheer.

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