Thread: Some Additional Ways to Enjoy Twins Games In a Rebulding Year

• Rationalize that at least half of the players in the game are still of major-league quality unless the Royals are in town.

• Bring some additional friends to the game. (If the friends are Jack Daniels or Johnnie Walker, all the better.)

• Text the Twins’ in-game Twitter account to ask them why they are continuing to let TC Bear roam around the ballpark without any pants.

• See who can find the most look-alikes for famous persons’ heads in your bag of peanuts. (Richard Nixon doesn’t count as most peanuts already look like Nixon.)

• Take a walking tour of the Warehouse District to spot all the lamp post banners still featuring ex-Twins.

• Apply a new SABRmetric stat of your own making that rates Twins players on how well they “get after it.”

• Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.

• For early April games, bring a Lean Cuisine to cook on your head under one of the industrial heat lamps in the concourse.

Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.

Well done, sir.