Some Additional Ways to Enjoy Twins Games In a Rebulding Year
- Rationalize that at least half of the players in the game are still of major-league quality unless the Royals are in town.
- Bring some additional friends to the game. (If the friends are Jack Daniels or Johnnie Walker, all the better.)
- Text the Twins’ in-game Twitter account to ask them why they are continuing to let TC Bear roam around the ballpark without any pants.
- See who can find the most look-alikes for famous persons’ heads in your bag of peanuts. (Richard Nixon doesn’t count as most peanuts already look like Nixon.)
- Take a walking tour of the Warehouse District to spot all the lamp post banners still featuring ex-Twins.
- Apply a new SABRmetric stat of your own making that rates Twins players on how well they “get after it.”
- Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.
- For early April games, bring a Lean Cuisine to cook on your head under one of the industrial heat lamps in the concourse.
