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About Mr. Horrorpants

Basic Information

About Mr. Horrorpants
Biography:
I watch baseball. I think. I type stuff.

If you're interested in my fiction writing, check it out at www.axelkohagen.com.
Location:
Minneapolis, MN
Interests:
Baseball and the Dark Fantastic

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Most Recent Message
03-23-2012 01:11 PM
General Information
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Yesterday 11:14 PM
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02-20-2012
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View Mr. Horrorpants's Blog

Recent Entries

Sunny Day Choking Hazards - Red Sox at Twins (Games 38-40)

by Mr. Horrorpants on Yesterday at 10:07 AM
Red Sox at Twins

The Vanimal and Clay (Game 38)

The Twin Cities team takes the loss and Break-Evening drops to two games away. And yet I dream.

Clay Buchholz stood at the other end of the street again Vance Worley, and the Vanimal was outgunned from the outset of the duel. The Vanimal stood tall in his boots and gave the Twins six innings.

The greatest distance in the world is the distance between two lovers before their first kiss. The second

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A Quick Case of the Sox (Games 35-37)

by Mr. Horrorpants on 05-15-2013 at 09:37 PM
White Sox at Twins

Four Sacks of Groceries and Two Dingers (Game 35)

When the Twins have a three run lead, it’s safe to grocery shop without excessive worry.

When the Twins are behind, each trip down the grocery store aisles is pure agony. Every spare moment and empty space offers an opportunity to check the score on your cell phone. When the other team’s runs pile on, it’s hard to keep shopping.

The Twins rewarded my trust with a surplus of

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I'm the Away Team - Orioles at Twins (Games 32-34)

by Mr. Horrorpants on 05-12-2013 at 07:15 PM
Orioles at Twins

A Damn Shame (Game 32)

These days, it’s a lot easier to keep up with the Twins when you’re traveling.

This can be perilous, however.

For example, when the Twins blow a six run lead and you find out in the middle of a friendly conversation with your family. There are words and phrases that desperately need screaming, but politeness dictates you keep your mouth shut.

I settled on letting out a wordless scream. I

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Twins/Red Sox (Games 28-31)

by Mr. Horrorpants on 05-10-2013 at 10:21 AM
Twins at Red Sox

Too Old for the Gang at Cheers (Game 28)

Home early, with my wife home as well, I started getting a hankering for watching the Twins play at a sports bar. Baseball’s just a little bit better when you’re covered in buffalo sauce and ordering another beer.

Except it was Monday. And I’m old. And wings plus beer plus anything else starts to add up to be a decent chunk of change. Don’t get me started on the calories, either. Plus, then you’re

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Twins/Indians (Games 25-27)

by Mr. Horrorpants on 05-05-2013 at 08:35 PM
Twins at Cleveland

Except Tonight (Game 25)

For me, skipping the 10th inning of an extra innings game is like skipping the opener of a rock concert. You usually don’t miss much.

Except tonight, when the Twins crapped out in extra inning (singular).

Because I am a fan of the heart and not of the head, I assume the Twins will win all games where the score stays close. And when a home run comes flying out of the Magical Land of Parmelee, the

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