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Game Thread: Twins@Brewers 6/2 6:20PM

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#1 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 03:33 PM

Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy with a 30-percent chance of rain. Winds blowing from right to left field at 15-20 m.p.h. Temperature around 75. (What's the difference between 'around' and 'near?')

Bri: The Lineups Live from Milwaukee on the way... Just stay patient. ChiTown Delivers!!!
Chi: Yes, live, as Milwaukee is a suburb of Chicago.

Twins:
SP, Gibson

Dozier 2B
Mauer 1B
Plouffe 3B
Arcia RF
Willingham LF
Suzuki C
Escobar SS
Santana CF
Gibson P

Brewers:
SP, Garza

Segura SS
Braun RF
Lucroy C
Gomez CF
Davis LF
Gennett 2B
Reynolds 3B
Overbay 1B
Garza P

------------------------------------------------------

Things to Think About:

1. Milwaukee -- Milwaukee is a city on the shores of Lake Michigan that Alice Cooper struggles to pronounce. You have to wonder why Michigan got to name the big lake instead of Wisconsin... Just another example of the East trumping the West once again I guess. Walking through the city of Milwaukee... be sure to wear shoes because there are broken beer bottles everywhere. Of course if you wear shoes... you will immediately stand out as a tourist. Because of the abundance of cheese... you also notice many mice scurrying back and forth. The mice are well fed and larger than cats so Milwaukee is the only city that plays the game of mouse and cat. Milwaukee was originally settled in the 1500's by Italian descendants of Arthur Fonzerelli and Laverne De Fazio. Juke boxes and Pinball Machines have always been no charge to play because all you have to do is tap your fist on them and they start right up and the phrase "Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!" is part of the lexicon and means we are not married and living together so draw your own conclusions. Milwaukee is a popular vacation destination... Summerfest is a huge yearly concert event that lasts from June to May. The beer tours are popular although nobody remember the details of the tour after the free samples. Harley enthusiasts come from everywhere to pay homage to the birthplace while shark jumping in leather jackets is a popular sport.

2. The Brewers -- Things have been going great for the Brewers this year. They have the third best record in MLB baseball and currently hold a 4 game lead over the impossible to beat St. Louis Cardinals. The offense has produced at slightly less runs per game than our Twins but they do have players like Ryan Braun and Carlos Gomez that provide instant offense... just add steroids or a chirpy opposing player. Most surprising... it's been the pitching that is driving this club to 1st place. The veteran Kyle Lohse has been leading the way followed by Wily Peralta who was obviously not trying in his previous years after looking at his past stats.

3. Miller Park -- The baseball stadium opened it's doors in April, 2001 and was named after Arthur Miller after a Coors Salesman was killed outside the stadium while attempting to secure a service contract with the Brewers. Unique features of the stadium includes a retractable roof. The retractable roof is fan shaped because it's Milwaukee... They needed a larger fan for the **** to hit. Way beyond the left field there is a giant metal slide that leads to a platform. Bernie Brewer the team mascot slides down the slide every time the Brewers hit a homerun... something he's done 8 times in the past 12 plus years. Bernie Brewer used to slide into a giant mug of beer but they found it impossible to keep beer in the giant mug because Milwaukeeans were constantly drinking the beer out of the giant mug causing Bernie Brewer some surprise hard landings with no way to exit the giant mug. In the Middle of the 6th inning... there is always a sausage race and there is nothing stereotypical about the presentation of each sausage.

4. Matt Garza -- Tonight the Brewers will throw ex-Twin Matt Garza... Garza was a Free Agent signing in the off season. Securing a contract of 50 million dollars and 4 years in length... which equates to 10 dollars per every time he spits. Matt was born in the middle of the Big Valley in California the son of Barbara Stanwyck. Originally drafted out of Fresno State by the Minnesota Twins in 2005... he blew through the minors and arrived in the big leagues in 2006. Reportedly... Matt's time in Minnesota was short because Garza became difficult to manage and new GM Bill Smith felt they had enough pitching with Nick Blackburn. Which led to a trade of Garza and Bartlett to the Rays for Delmon Young who was a top rated prospect mainly because of his ability to berate homeless people and attack umpires. The Rays traded Matt Garza to the Cubs 4 years later... in return for Garza... The Ray received the top 17 prospects in the Cubs system.

5. Cow Poop -- Scientists in Michigan claim to have found a way to turn cow manure into clean water. The system produces 50 gallons of water from 100 gallons of manure. This is an actual recent progress report about solving draught problems around the world... It is not the set up of a joke. While you read it and become indignant... you can always put down the glass of water and get a glass of milk if that's better.

Edited by ChiTownTwinsFan, 02 June 2014 - 03:40 PM.


#2 Bark's Lounge

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 03:42 PM

Milwaukee was originally settled in the 1500's by Italian descendants of Arthur Fonzerelli and Laverne De Fazio.


Ehhh! (Double Thumbs Up)

Don't forget about the Arcolas. :)

#3 diehardtwinsfan

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 04:04 PM

You should have seen the place during the 100th year Harley anniversary.

#4 Willihammer

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 04:08 PM

Scientists in Michigan claim to have found a way to turn cow manure into clean water. The system produces 50 gallons of water from 100 gallons of manure


When the neighbors gives you lemons, make lemonade?

#5 JB_Iowa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 04:09 PM

"Give us any chance we'll take it ....

Give us any rule we'll break it."

-Ryan Braun

#6 jokin

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 04:25 PM

[IMG]http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/Wfos6KCzJdAamtTV5Xj70g--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTQxNztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz02MzA-/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/sports/2013-07-22/c3e37600-6ae1-4ec0-b6ba-84798edd8224_braun1-072213.jpg[/IMG]

#7 Winston Smith

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 04:59 PM

The Twins would never have anyone busted for drug use! Not us I say we is clean as a whistle.

Posted Image
This comment brought to you from the Rosedale Mall studio by Hamm's Beer, brewed in the land of sky blue waters.

#8 JB_Iowa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:06 PM

"Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!"


I've been singing that blinking song for the last hour.

#9 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:15 PM

I've been singing that blinking song for the last hour.


Attached File  image.jpg   24.08KB   1 downloads

#10 Gibby

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:21 PM

I cant believe I left that snoozefest in the 8th inning yesterday.

#11 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:24 PM

Ok... The 4 highest batting averages in the lineup for the Twins are the 5 6 7 and 8 hitters.

Thats Gardy saying... Nah... I don't believe it.

#12 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:24 PM

I cant believe I left that snoozefest in the 8th inning yesterday.


Oops

#13 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:26 PM

Mauer on with a double... I hope he didn't use up Plouffes double.

#14 JB_Iowa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:27 PM

Julia, the Jeopardy champion for 20 straight games, lost.

Wow. $420-some thousand later, I think.

She'll never forget John Irving.

#15 Gibby

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:29 PM

Julia, the Jeopardy champion for 20 straight games, lost.

Wow. $420-some thousand later, I think.

She'll never forget John Irving.


She missed a John Irving question? What was it Prayer for Owen Meany?

#16 JB_Iowa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:30 PM

She missed a John Irving question? What was it Prayer for Owen Meany?


Last Oscar-winning screenplay author to adopt his own book.

#17 Gibby

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:30 PM

Arcia seems like one of those guys we trade for a crappy pitcher, then he goes on it hit 50 homers a year for a decade.

#18 JB_Iowa

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:31 PM

Apologies to any other Jeopardy afficianados who may not have watched yet. Oops. Sorry.

#19 Gibby

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:32 PM

Apologies to any other Jeopardy afficianados who may not have watched yet. Oops. Sorry.


Jeopardy spoilers, I love it.

#20 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:34 PM

I've been singing that blinking song for the last hour.


If you want to get a song out of your head, start singing the Hawaii 5-0 theme. Do that and it will go away, and the Hawaii 5-0 won't linger either.

#21 Gibby

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:35 PM

If you want to get a song out of your head, start singing the Hawaii 5-0 theme. Do that and it will go away, and the Hawaii 5-0 won't linger either.


Dammit ChiTown!

#22 stringer bell

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:35 PM

Garza with a mouthguard so he doesn't spit so much?

#23 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:37 PM

Last Oscar-winning screenplay author to adopt his own book.


I won an Oscar once!!! A week later my award was delivered... It was Jack Klugman.

#24 Gibby

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:38 PM

I won an Oscar once!!! A week later my award was delivered... It was Jack Klugman.


That was a sympathy like.

#25 stringer bell

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:38 PM

I would like to see Gibson put together back-to-back good starts.

#26 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:38 PM

Mauer on with a double... I hope he didn't use up Plouffes double.


BTW... It appears... He used up all of it. Nearly every single inch of it.

#27 sampleSizeOfOne

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:41 PM

Jeopardy spoilers, I love it.


I always wish that Jeopardy encouraged more creative forms of question than "what is"...

#28 Willihammer

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:42 PM

Hammer sure looks dialed in, great to have him back.

#29 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:42 PM

Dammit ChiTown!

What? It's a legitimate tool to get rid of songs in your head you don't want there

#30 Riverbrian

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Posted 02 June 2014 - 05:43 PM

That was a sympathy like.


When I was single... I tried one of those dating sites that tried to match you up with a date by similiar interests.

At first... They had a hard time finding another woman who liked to chase other women which was my primary interest. So... They expanded the questionnaire and after all my interests were calculated... They set me up with Jack Klugman.