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Bark's Lounge

Interview with my Anger

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Hello Twins Daily Participants,

It appears fortune is on my side today as I have lined up an interview with my Anger. Some may find that a strange concept, but I very often have problems accessing certain areas of my emotional palette. My anger is a very private entity and mostly, he only shows up when I least expect it, which in turn has made my adult life an adventure, a mess and somewhat interesting - mixed together with a handful of days spent in the local detention center. Just to be clear, most of this interview will be based on Twins baseball. I wouldn’t want to abuse the privilege of using this site for non Twins related rants.

Before I begin this interview, I feel the need to recognize the passing of Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman. Mr. Hanneman - thank you for being a huge contributing force behind the albums “Reign in Blood”, “South of Heaven”, and “Seasons in the Abyss.” Without Slayer, this interview would not be possible. For those 3 albums, Slayer was the perfect marriage between Metal and Hard Core Punk. Mr. Hanneman – your music will live on forever and you will never be forgotten. Rest in Peace my friend.

Bark’s Lounge: Hello Anger. How have you been doing since the MLB season started?

Anger: Can’t you tell by the holes in your walls? Obviously, I am doing great. I have been enjoying Minnesota’s weekly Snow Storms. It’s always nice to have a few snow storms in… what month is it? August or something?

Bark’s Lounge: Actually, It’s early May, but I get your point and I have noticed the holes in the wall. Thanks for that. Second question – how about the play of your Minnesota Twin’s through month #1 of the season?

Anger: Their record is a lot better than I could have anticipated at this point in the season, but for the most part they have been a drag to watch. First and foremost they probably should have cancelled the first month of the season because of the god damned snow. Besides the snow-outs, the Twins have been playing like a person with a bi-polar disorder who is not taking their happy pills. For a short stretch they appear to play with a little bit of fire in their belly, but they follow that up with a stretch of disinterested and uninspiring brand of baseball that is not worth investing your time into. The s@#&*y thing about that is you never know what team is going to show up. If I hate one thing – it is inconsistency.

Bark’s Lounge: Understood. What do you foresee happening for the Twins as the season progresses into the summer months?

Anger: First of all let’s get through May before we start thinking about the summer. Our season might be over before we get to the “Summer”. Right now, the Twin’s offense sucks. Whether one thinks that the pitching has been good or so-so to this point of the season is irrelevant. The fact is that the starting pitching will get worse as the season progresses. The bats need to get going and going soon. There is some talent in our line-up, but so far it has fallen flat on its face. To win 70 games the offense is going to have to kick on all cylinders for good chunks of this season. Right now, it is hard for me to envision that happening.

Bark’s Lounge: Who are a few of the players you have some concerns with?

Anger: Individually, I care not to focus on the pitching. Our bullpen is okay, but that will change once the starters begin to fail with regularity. At that point, when the bullpen is overtaxed - the dominos of negativity will start to fall. Perkins and Burton will probably be okay… and I do think the Pressly kid is a keeper. If Pressly hits a bad stretch, I believe the Twins should stick it out with him and not offer him Back to the BoSox. He will help in the future.

Bark’s Lounge: Position Players?

Anger: Florimon should not be in the bigs. Doumit has looked like crap, his play is indicative of a player who has aged 5 years in the off season. Morneau has been a bit of a bummer. Most people say he is healthy and he is going to re-emerge into the elite offensive force he once was – I hope it happens, but I have some severe concerns that Morneau is on the downslide Big Time. Dozier and Hicks started off bad, especially Hicks. They have looked better recently, but to rely on them would be suicidal to one’s hopes. To be honest the only position players that have been okay are Willingham and Escobar. Willingham is doing what is expected of him and Escobar will get his wings cut off and fall back to earth. Mauer has perplexed me a bit. A week or 2 ago he was batting .400, now he is batting in the .280’s. Slumps are one thing, but I have to believe something is going haywire with his thought process when he gets up to the plate. Some may think Mauer is mentally weak because of his past injury situations and such, but I am not of that thought. I actually think he is a focused, well oiled machine when it comes to hitting. He is either physically hurt or mentally distracted. His strike-out rate to this point is simply un-Mauer like and shocking… something is amiss. Overall, I do not like the line-up. It is not gelling. Who knows, maybe it will… maybe it won’t. Either way, we have no control over it. It is what it is.

Bark’s Lounge: How about….

Anger: I’m done. I’m tired of this S%@t.

Bark’s Lounge: Okay?

Anger: And by the way Bark. Quit taking your happy pills. I am feeling stifled and boxed in. Let me be free to roam. I am very disappointed that you have kept us in this arctic hell hole. We should have been long gone.

Bark’s Lounge: If I could go back 15 years, we would have been relocated… but I cannot go back and fix it. I did stop taking my happy pills a couple days ago. Does that help?

Anger: A little I guess.
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  1. ashburyjohn's Avatar
    Get back on your meds, my brother.
  2. denarded's Avatar
    Good post
  3. John Bonnes's Avatar
    I liked this post very much too. Well done.
  4. ashburyjohn's Avatar
    I liked it too. My comment about meds was serious in exactly whatever degree Bark's was serious about getting off them.
  5. Bark's Lounge's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by ashburyjohn
    I liked it too. My comment about meds was serious in exactly whatever degree Bark's was serious about getting off them.
    All is good John!
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