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Kevin Slowey was Framed!

Friday Mailbag (4/5/2013)!!!!!

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Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

What's more pathetic than a person writing questions to himself and then answering them, pretending all along that it is some hilarious endeavor or insightful method of talking about baseball? Not sure I can answer that question. Here's a (fake) mailbag instead.

How do you feel about Joe Mauer batting zecond? Love the podcast.

~Brad S. (Twin Cities, MN)

I don't have a podcast. Yet...

Also, I assume you mean batting second. I am cool with it as long as Joe (I call him Joe, as we graduated in the same year so we're practically best friends) is cool with it. You see, Mauer getting more at bats = good. He's good at hitting and thus gets more opportunities to hit with more at bats. Joe Mauer is a better hitter than Brian Dozier. I like Dozier (mostly his eyes) but Mauer is still clearly better. In addition, Josh Willingham is a better hitter than Dozier. As is Justin Morneau, as is Ryan Doumit, as is Trevor Plouffe and so on and so forth. Once Aaron Hicks starts hitting, Mauer will get plenty of chances to drive in runs.

It's all going to be just fine, at least until Morneau and Willingham are traded.

Hi Brad, thanks for doing these mailbags, it's super cool of you. Recently, we found out that Johan Santana needs another shoulder surgery and might be forced to retire. This makes me sad. My questions to you: Are you sad and Is Johan Santana a Hall of Fame player? Thanks!

~Brad S. (Twin Cities, MN)

Thanks for reading and writing! I am pro-literacy. First, yes, I am sad. Johan Santana was my favorite Twin of recent past. I will not soon forget his 17 strikeout game or his no-hitter that may have ruined his career (I don't believe that to be true).

As to whether he is a Hall of Famer: Yes!

To expand: Yes, of course!

For the record, I would induct him in the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Twins' Hall of Fame, I would retire his jersey, give him a job in the front office, trust him with my financial planning AND estate planning, water his plants and vote for him for President of the U.S.A.

Now, I am severely biased and I will never be given any sort of Hall of Fame vote. So, this all amounts to a hill of beans. Beans aside, I feel that Johan Santana was the best pitcher of the most recent decade. While framing a career within an arbitrary set of years is lazy and borderline useless, I don't care. Santana was great and I love him. Yes, I love him! I'm sorry everyone had to learn that in a mailbag, but it's true.

I can't be rational when talking of Santana and I won't be; not for you, not for society and not for some crummy institution that doesn't even include all of the best baseball players of all time. The Hall of Fame is a joke! Tim Raines? Ty Cobb, but not Roger Clemens? Kenny Lofton fell off the ballot after one year?!? Who decided on the location?!? Cooperstown, New York of all places! That's an East Coast bias! Nixon was a patsy! Now I'm fired up! I'm going to go take this anger and frustration to the streets!

I'm back; my knee hurts. Next question.

Hi. I'm not a fan, but you seem to write a lot of nonsense, so I thought I would try to get you to answer a serious question. Does Trevor Plouffe wear enough eye black?

~Everyone (Minnesota)

I'm not sure what this nonsense is that you speak of, but yeah, I think he does.

Thoughts on the bench?

~Brad S (Twin Cities, MN)

Sentence fragment is a sentence fragment. I like the bench. Wilkin Ramirez is not a great hitter, but he has power. I'm enjoying the older brother thing he seems to have with some of the younger players too. Eduardo Escobar is pretty much Pedro Florimon but shorter, so that works out pretty well. Jamey Carroll is a cagey veteran who can get on base when needed. Darin Mastroianni is a great pinch runner and defensive replacement. All in all, the bench is solid. I think it is much better than benches of the recent past. B+

Hi Bret, I'm a big fan. Rank these extensions: Elvis Andrus, Justin Verlander, Buster Posey

~Brad S (Twin Cities, MN)

Ok, but I will do so in a bullet list, to save time:

  • Posey - young, excellent, bat is good enough to play if he moves out from behind the plate
  • Andrus - young, excellent, getting better, excellent fielder, improving hitter
  • Verlander - young, but older, excellent, a pitcher - so there's risk, still awesome

Do you know anything about 1989 Donruss?

~Topps Fleerscore, (Cardville, USA)

You know, it's so funny that you would ask that question. I literally just wrote something about 1989 Donruss on Monday. Such great timing, thank you. Click here! Ron Washington's card alone is well worth using your mouse to click on a hyperlink and then scrolling down. The words are somewhat amusing too.

Salutations. Aaron Hicks got his first MLB hit on Thursday. Who else will record their first MLB milestone of choice during this season?

~O. Arcia, (Rochester, NY)

Well well well, look who reads my blog. You probably found it from Kal Daniels' Baseball Reference page like everyone else. Well, "O", I believe that Oswaldo Arcia will certainly collect his first MLB hit this season. I'll guess around August, but it could end up being sooner. I feel that Kyle Gibson will collect his first MLB win around mid-season. I believe that Chris Colabello will hit his first home run around that same time and the crowd will lose their collective s. In former Twin news, I am calling a Ben Revere over-the-fence home run as well. I mean, why not? The Phillies will celebrate by giving Ryan Howard another 40 million dollars.

Thanks for the questions everyone, I have to go write a mailbag now. Have a nice weekend!

Brad Swanson does not have any plans to start a podcast. He doesn't know how to play Lego. He is willing to answer actual questions, but doesn't know how to receive them. Any help would be much appreciated. Not concise, this guy.
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Comments

  1. Oldgoat_MN's Avatar
    Thank you for this community service, Brad.
    And God help you. God help us all.
  2. TwinVike61's Avatar
    Hey Brad, thanks for starting a mail bag. I always kinda assumed all mailbox questions were made up (or at least compiled paraphrases). Here's a question for your next one: Torii Hunter made some statements welcoming Aaron Hicks to the line of great Twins centerfielders and said he'd hit for power not just be a slap hitter. So who was Torii dissing most?
  3. Brad Swanson's Avatar
    God save the Queen! TwinVike, I absolutely will address this question in my next mailbag. I already have some thoughts simmering...
  4. Oldgoat_MN's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Brad Swanson
    I already have some thoughts simmering...
    And the world trembles......
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