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Axel Kohagen

I Walked-Up With A Monster!

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In my continuing quest to improve the ferocity of Target Field Walk-Up Music, I have had an epiphany.

For around a 100 years, horror movies have hired composers to add intensity to the moment. Why not go with the professionals on this one? After all, some of the Twins players could use a jolt of intensity in the pysch-out department.

Here are some horror themes that would sound mighty smart pumping out the speakers at the ballgame.

Song: "Psycho: A Suite for Strings"
Composer: Bernard Herrmann
Chance of Actually Being Used: 1 in 100. Although well-know, it does its job a little too well. Instead of intimidating opposing players, it'd leave them wondering if the hitter kept Mother in the fruit cellar on road trips.
Potential Player: Glen Perkins, taking the mound. He's enough of a smart-ass to do it, and it kind of fits his whirling dervish attitude.

Song: "Theme from Jaws"
Composer: John Williams
Chance of Actually Being Used: 1 in 10. It probably shouldn't be used, because it's famous enough to be a cliche. Also, it'd seem really silly if the player grounded out weakly to first instead of launching one skyward.
Potential Player: Ben Revere. Because it may be a little mean, but it's a lot funny.

Song: "Godzilla Main Title"
Composer: Akira Ifukube
Chance of Actually Being Used: 1 in 4. It's got all the right moments for anticipating and cheering. Also, it's not so over-the-top that a lackluster at bat makes it seem ridiculous.
Potential Player: Justin Morneau. If he rises from the sea ready to hit again, it'd be a sweet soundtrack for a second act. Especially if he's primarily a DH.


Song: "The Thing"
Composer: Ennio Morricone
Chance of Actually Being Used: 1 in a Billion. I know, it'd make more sense to use another classic John Carpenter film score -- Halloween. That said, stay with me on this. It's a slow, brooding song about the tension of what might be waiting just below the surface, ready to strike. Which makes it perfect for . . .
Potential Player: Joe Mauer. Suddenly, all of the quiet grace of the Twins catcher becomes seething potential. Picture it. It's kinda neato.


Song: "Gremlins - Suite"
Composer: Jerry Goldsmith
Chance of Actually Being Used: 1 in a Billion. Still, it'd be a heckuva thing. This is a uptempo rag, with out of control energy and swagger.
Potential Player: Alexi Casilla. Because, as with the song, you really aren't sure if he's got it under control.
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