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Axel Kohagen

The Day-to-Day Zone

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THE DAY-TO-DAY ZONE

FEAR IN A HANDFUL OF ROSIN PART 3

A MR. HORRORPANTS SCREENPLAY

BASED ON AN IDEA BY MICHAEL HAAS (@digitalHaas)


INT. BLACK AND WHITE. A MOD 50s LIVING ROOM. THERE ARE SEVERAL COUCHES MADE UP OF LIGHT GRAY RECTANGLES. A COFFEE TABLE SITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, COVERED IN MAGAZINES.

DENARD SPAN ENTERS THE ROOM, LOOKING CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED. HE SITS ON ONE OF THE COUCHES.

HE SHAKES HIS HEAD AND STARES AT A DOOR IN FRONT OF HIM.

THE DOOR IN FRONT OF HIM IS LABELED "TARGET FIELD - PLAYER'S ENTRANCE."

THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL MR. HORRORPANTS. HE IS WEARING A SUIT AND TIE, AND HIS HAIR IS PARTED TO THE SIDE.


MR. HORRORPANTS
Another Twin. Another injury. Another ballplayer waits for his chance to play again. When will that chance come?

DENARD SPAN
(shrugs)

MR. HORRORPANTS
Some things aren't very clear, in the Day-to-Day Zone.

THE DAY-TO-DAY ZONE THEME PLAYS.

DENARD SPAN, NOW ALONE AGAIN, GOES TO LISTEN TO THE DOOR MARKED "PLAYER'S ENTRANCE." HE HEARS THE SOUNDS OF BASEBALL BEING PLAYED.


DENARD SPAN
Plouffe, is that you? Plouffey? How'd you get out of here?

THERE IS NO ANSWER.

DENARD SPAN SITS DOWN. HE FANS THROUGH THE MAGAZINE ON THE COFFEE TABLE AND NOTICES SOMETHING HAS BEEN SCRATCHED INTO THE SURFACE OF THE TABLE. SPAN PUSHES THE OTHER MAGAZINES AWAY AND SEES THE PHRASE "THOME WAS HERE!"


DENARD SPAN
Okay. Relax, Denard. Nobody else has gone through that door, so they need you. This can't be the DL or someone else would've come through that door, right?

DENARD SPAN SLUMPS BACK INTO THE COUCH. AS HE DOES SO, HE NOTICES A FINGERTIP POKING OUT FROM UNDER THE A CUSHION.

DENARD STANDS UP AND RIPS THE COUCH CUSHIONS OFF THE COUCH. HE STAGGERS AND FALLS TO THE GROUND, NARROWLY MISSING THE COFFEE TABLE. HE IS COVERING HIS MOUTH IN SHOCK.

UNDER THE CUSHIONS, STILL WRITHING IN PAIN, IS THE DETACHED ARM AND SHOULDER OF MATT CAPPS.


DENARD SPAN
It fell off! He was here until it completely fell off!

MR. HORRORPANTS WALKS IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.


Mr. Horrorpants
Not a very pretty ending. But, is it an ending? Will it ever end? You can never be sure . . . in the Day-to-Day Zone.

CUE CREDITS, FADE TO BLACK.

(Follow @mrhorrorpants on Twitter. He gets even weirder.)

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