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Bark's Lounge

Trade Deadline and Psychotropic Medications

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I have to admit I am a bit concerned with the impending trade deadline quickly closing in on us Twins fans. Some of you are adamant about the necessity to make a trade and some of you are equally apprehensive about making a trade.

I see both sides, and I am very worried that a few folks on this site might access the end of their sanity with a trade/non-trade and reach and breach their breaking point. I have a few suggestions for those who might feel this is a feasible outcome.

1. Drink a lot of water (with lemon or lime… it makes a difference).

2. For your Gods - Sacrifice a neighbor’s dog, cat or maybe a little bunny inhabiting your yard or recreation area… it might please this mighty force.

3. A Full Body Shave – It is possible you might feel weighted down by the trade situation. Like a swimmer shaves their body to accrue more quickness, by shaving your body you might feel a swiftness to deal with adversity and “swim” through the people you deal with on a daily basis with a positive and upbeat attitude. No one likes a downer… except me.

4. Use recreational drugs. They will most definitely let you escape for a short period of time, but if you dedicate yourself to stopping the intake of negative feelings a daily use of ganja, mushrooms and sometimes alcohol might suppress the darkness that is enclosing your life… maybe.

5. Last and least. Go to your local physician and tell them your depressed. You will instantaneously get a subscription for some Prozac, Zoloft, or another Psychotropic drug that is popular these days. They probably will take away the highs and the lows (side affects included) and you can continue living your life on the basis you do so now.

If you adhere to these five points, I think you will be okay. The one concern I have is the emotional quotient that is baseball. Who the hell wants to lose that?

There may or not be some trades involving the Twins. Let’s hope that Terry Ryan is shrewd in his moves and gets equal+ value. This is somewhat the last chance for the Twins to show that they have a handle on things. If Ryan fails us, I fear that the Twins faithful might be lost in oblivion and the handlers rendered useless.
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  1. John Bonnes's Avatar

    6. Emulate Terry Ryan - Put on stoic face. Talk about accountability a lot and about getting better. Reveal nothing. Emphasize that it is a team effort, and not just about you. That seems like a pretty solid path for staying sane at the deadline too - even if you really ARE the one under the gun.
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