Jump to content

Providing independent coverage of the Minnesota Twins.
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

The Forums

Astros Consequences Thread

Other Baseball Today, 03:50 PM
It’s time to transition away from the reports of everything they did. We all had a feeling that players were going to take matters into...

Severino shut down with forearm soreness

Other Baseball Today, 03:49 PM
According to mlb.com, Severino is being shut down and his opening day status is in question. That means NY may begin the season without b...

2019/2020 Twins Minor League Signings

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 03:49 PM
This is a forum to update Twins minor league signings (and can be where we post Twins minor league free agents that signed elsewhere)....

Spring Training Game Thread: Twins @ Rays 2/26/202020ad

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 03:22 PM
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. And TD had yet to jinx the Twins... Oh right. I need to find a line up...

What Makes a Shortstop a Great Defender?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 02:56 PM
When Statcast came out with infield defensive ratingsat the end of 2019, Jorge Polanco appeared at the bottom of the SS list. Using actua...


The Yankees Select . . . A View of Playoff Yet to Come

Posted by Axel Kohagen , 13 February 2020 · 490 views

2027 AD.

The Playoffs.

Yankee Stadium.

The stands are filled with screeching Yankees fans. Some wear spiked shoulder pads. Some look like the Baseball Furies. Zombies sit in the cheap seats.

Billy Crystal stands on the pitcher's mound, dressed exactly like Tupac in the "California Love" video. He incites the crowd to heightened frenzies. The zombies are having fun.

"Who will the New York Yankees select to play in the playoffs?" Mad Billy shouts.

In the other dugout, the Minnesota Twins are all cowering under blankets. The manager wears Groucho glasses.
The crowd hushes. Who will they pick?

"Should we pick the Indians?" Billy asks.

"Noooo!" screams the crowd.

"How about the Astros?"

"Nooooo!" screams the crowd.

"Who can we choose?" says Mad Billy Crystal. "Which team will guarantee a Yankees VICTORY?"

"Just spit it out!" shouts one of the Minnesota Twins.

Billy Crystal moonwalks around the bases.

"Who do we choo-choo-choose?" he says.

"Twins! Twins! Twins!" screams the crowd.

The Jumbotron replays all of the times the Yankees beat the Twins in the playoffs.

"Stop picking us!" scream the Twins fans as they huddle together. "Just stop it! Let us be!"

"Twins! Twins! Twins!" the Yankee fans chant.

The camera pulls back and we see we have been watching a cell phone screen in a Minnesota cabin.
The wind howls.

"Will it ever not be the Yankees, Papa?" a child asks.

The father simply shoves the child's face into a tater tot hot dish.

  • TiberTwins likes this