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Article: SEA 4, MIN 3: Zuni-Not Again

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:41 AM
What did the Twins ever do to Mike Zunino? Last season, he hit four homers in just six games against Minnesota. Saturday night (Sunday mo...

Catcher: DFA Wilson and look to AAA?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:40 AM
The Twins, desperately in need of more offense, have two right handed bats at catcher in AAA:  Wynston Sawyer and Williams Astudillo...

Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 5/27/18 @ 3:10 PM CT

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:38 AM
  Feliz cumpleaƱos Jose Berrios! Jose Berrios was born (only) 24 years ago today in Bayamon, Puerto Rico. You might be curious, as...

Twins Acquire Chris Carter

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:38 AM
https://www.mlbtrade...ris-carter.html Should this be interpreted as bad news on Mauer?

Interesting article about Buxton

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:14 AM
I enjoyed the article linked below about Buxton. As you can see, the Twins and lots of other folks seem to think that he could be a hall...

Photo

Yankees Put the "L" in Twins. Again.

Posted by Axel Kohagen , 25 April 2018 · 404 views

Though the SPINNING WHIRLS OF THE SUPERNATURAL WORLD are often filled with lonely men in black t-shirts, nearly every Twins fan has pondered the UNBEARABLE SUFFERING of LOSING EVERY GAME to the NEW YORK YANKEES!

I hope I can somehow ease the EVERLASTING suffering of the sweet, TC-hatted heads in our community. How many of you have flung pillows at flat-screen televisions, slapped the power knob of a car radio, or politely told the ghost of Yogi Berra his delightful witticisms are not appreciated when your favorite team grounded out for the final out?

My recommendation for the Twins front office? ETERNAL VIGILANCE! All it takes is a Bronx Bomber with mojo on the mind to leave a cursed object somewhere in Target Field. Such an object might be small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, making it seem easier to demolish a building. I have a STRONG SUSPICION the Metrodome was DOOMED FOR DESTRUCTION as a method of exorcising the spirits of FORNICATING BATHROOM REVELERS who chilled visitors with their LOW, GUTTURAL GRUNTING!

And it gets worse. Who knows what they're doing in New York City, which I hear is larger than Duluth and St. Paul COMBINED! They could have a Minnesota hot dish in the stadium, baked with the sweat of Kent Hrbek's cap, left in a freezer to COOL THE BATS of the Twin Cities team. Perhaps a group of INTERDIMENSIONAL MYSTICS from R'LYEH to make each pitch seem bigger than the giant inflatable ball we make children chase to watch them STUMBLE AND FALL! HOW THEY FALL!

It's possible they might have a lot of money, too.

My money is on one Twins fan named Shemp Campbell. Shemp's a farmer from around Austin and he once saw a duck wearing a Yankees hat and he kicked it. Sometimes, that's all it takes. How many of us think before kick our ducks? ESPECIALLY when they're wearing athletic apparel. Makes you think.

But you don't have to think when the Yankees are beating the Twins. AGAIN. You just feel. You feel really badly. You wish the game could be fun again.

Don't kick ducks,

-- Axel Kohagen