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Article: Why Isn't Mitch Garver Playing More?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:36 AM
Jason Castro recently became the latest in a series of injuries and suspension which have contributed to a pedestrian start to the 2018 s...

Article: 2018 MLB Draft Top 50 Prospects: 11-20

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 08:35 AM
We continue our countdown of the Top 50 Prospects in the 2018 MLB Draft by looking at the players ranked 11-20. During the last countdown...

Interesting article about Buxton

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:36 AM
I enjoyed the article linked below about Buxton. As you can see, the Twins and lots of other folks seem to think that he could be a hall...

Article: SEA 4, MIN 3: Zuni-Not Again

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:36 AM
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Article: Twins Minor League Report (5/26): Lookouts Turn...

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 08:29 AM
The Chattanooga-Montgomery game had 21 runs on 27 hits, three errors, six wild pitches, a pickoff, a balk, six hit batsmen and a triple p...

Photo

Let's Lease a Yeti!

Posted by Axel Kohagen , 18 April 2018 · 468 views

twins supernatural
Why can't Target Field have a yeti?

Even a dedicated master of the art of SUPERNATURAL BASEBALL has trouble cobbling together enough words to delve into the spirit of this wonderful sport. It's difficult enough to put on a face to open your door in these days of late, late winter. No baseball cap upon your head but instead a STOCKING CAP where the pom pom is made of the SHREDDED PLANS OF YOUR SNOWBOUND LIFE!

Twins fans spent a whole weekend indoors without a BIT of baseball to ease the pain. Many of us had to spend time speaking to our ACTUAL FAMILIES!

It would be a nice gesture if the Twins released a LIVE YETI onto the unshoveled parts of America's National Winter Wasteland. This is not as difficult as you might initially think. After all, a Twins advertiser regularly brings a live Bigfoot to baseball games. I have it on good authority this is a SUBURBAN SASQUATCH who can't be bothered to menace a camper if that camper had their missing S'mores ingredients.

A yeti, though. That's a different thing than a sasquatch. Yeti's tend to have white fur and they think it's stupid to say "Duck, Duck, Grey Duck." They might not enjoy life in the Cities, but they make WONDERFUL snow forts and get REAL cross when, say, TC Bear smashes into them with a snowmobile.

You notice TC Bear doesn't snowmobile around as much anymore? Do you think he misses it? I mean, if he did, who would he tell? Ron Gardenhire's with Detroit now.

Anyway, tuning in to see a yeti frolic in Target Field might seem bizarre, but it would be A GREAT DEAL BETTER than spending a weekend with a BUTTLOAD of snow and an earful of people complaining about it. You don't have to be an expert in SUPERNATURAL BASEBALL to know baseball IS magic. Give us the magic, then take it away, and there's going to be sadness.

So is a baseball yeti so much to ask?

Aspiring Skunk Ape,

Axel Kohagen




Those coolers are expensive enough that you almost have to take a lease out on them.