Headaches, Old and New (Twins 5 Indians 6 - Game 159)
A busy day ended with a headache and an early trip to bed, like I was a starting pitcher getting the hook.
It occurred to me, annoyed by pain as I was, that I might be lucking out. After all, I had a reason not to pay attention to baseball.
Grinding out the last few months of recaps has reminded me baseball really only has a few stories. The dominating conquerors. The wily Cinderellas. The damned losers.
Look Upon Mauer and Tremble (Twins 4 Tigers 3-- Game 156)
Mauer's out for the season, like we all knew he would be. Concussion City gains a new resident. And this Pinto kid seems like he's ready to play some catcher. People wonder if Mauer can come back to put on the tools of ignorance. People wonder if Mauer can come back at all.
The M and M boys are gone, leaving Target Field empty like a Halloween candy bowl. Mauer seems likely to be back in some way, shape, or form.
Memory Lane Trips (Twins 6 As 8 -- Game 152)
In 2006, I watched Boof Bonser take the mound against the Oakland As. I was close to Torii Hunter when he tripped up and misplayed a ball. I watched a good season end.
Now the As are looking pretty good and the Twins are collapsing their way to 90+ losses. Again. Third time in a row.
Nighttime is getting dark, and these games are just little tombstones in a season so forgettable you couldn't describe it by mentioning
Cool Breeze, Eyes Closed (Twins 1 White Sox 12 - Game 149)
After getting our house Halloween ready the night before, I came home to a perfectly decorated house. The smell of fall blew through the windows and hung in the air.
It covered the stench of what Liam Hendriks was doing on the mound in Chicago. The Great Dane agreed with me.
If anyone's excited to see the Twins lose, it's Stella the Great Dane. She was traumatized when I jumped up and stomped around
Voorhees: A True Dynasty (Twins 0 Rays 3-- Game 146)
On this Friday the 13th, I regret choosing Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan as the film I watched. Jason Voorhees may be unkillable, but this lame hodge-podge of maritime hijinks and flimsy backstories sure signaled a sign this franchise had seen better days.
The Twins, another franchise that's seen better days, got blanked. If I had cable, I'd have been just as bored watching them as I was watching a
Swarzak Attack (Twins 4 As 3 - Game 143)
You'd have a tough time coming up with a cooler success story for the Twins than the tale of Anthony Swarzak. Dude got injured rough-housing at Twins Fest and put himself out of commission for while. It seemed like one more reason to end up in Gardy's dog house, and an embarrassing way to escort yourself off of a major league roster.
Now it's September, and he's a success story. Maybe we should all start believing in the existence
A Pop-In (Twins 6 Angels 3 - Game 142)
Make-up games fit perfectly into Minnesotan living. If we're not winterizing something we're complaining about the electric bill from running the AC. We're always paying down the interest on past due weather expenses, so our baseball team might as well, too.
Amidst summer's last hissy fit, the Twins came to play. They won 6-3 and kept Glen Perkins' status as The Last Twin With Something To Smile About intact.
The Mob Has Tweeted (Twins 5 Blue Jays 6 - Game 139)
This game paired up two pitchers I knew, in my gut, were going to become amazing. R.A. Dickey rose to the challenge. Mike Pelfrey must not have gotten that memo.
When your favorite team will only win prizes for participation, the only excitement left comes in sifting through the wreckage to find future stars.
We all know how this game works, even if we pretty it up with BS from time to time. You pick a player
Chuckles (Twins 10 Astros 6 Game 136)
Other places it was Labor Day and the last day of the fair, but in our house it was preparation day. The next day my wife was due at the hospital for a thyroidectomy. She's fine, and she's going to be fine. It's just another annoying grown-up thing that reminds a person real life always wins.
We stayed busy preparing for our trip to the hospital, and the game itself didn't get much attention.
Still, when I heard about
We're Still Doing This? (Twins 3 Rangers 2 -- Game 133)
Forgot this was a solid win until a Rangers fan reminded me of it on Twitter. Close game against a great pitcher and a good team. Twins win.
I was more excited about another Morneau homer. Morneau may be Canadian, but his backstory makes him a real American hero. Brash but charming slugger finds early success, suffers a career- (and life-) threatening injury, and is just now getting to the part where the audience stands