Jump to content

Providing independent coverage of the Minnesota Twins.
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

The Forums

Article: MIN 18, SEA 4: Sharks Eat Mariners

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:35 AM
Back in 2006, Ozzie Guillen compared the Twins’ lineup to piranhas due to its ability to relentlessly small ball a team to death. This 20...
Full topic ›

Article: Could the Twins Be the New 2015 Royals?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:31 AM
Even though I'm not a Minnesotan, nor do I live in this beautiful state, I've been observing you guys for years. I see a lot of pessimism...
Full topic ›

So when do we believe?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:24 AM
This team is 28-15, on the verge of 29-15. They are just +1 in pythag, just +1 in BaseRuns (if you look at the numbers, it's fractional a...
Full topic ›

Article: Twins Minor League Report (5/18): Sands, Kernels...

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 08:03 AM
The Twins scored 18 runs. The two Twins minor league affiliates that have been very good this year both got shut out. The Red Wings got a...
Full topic ›

Game Thread Twins @ Mariners 5/18/19 9:10 PM CDT

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:24 AM
Quick introduction for the third game of four in the Twins @ Seattle series. The Twins are now 29-15 (14-7 on the road) and lead the AL C...
Full topic ›

Twins Blogosphere


Your Dad Weighing Options For Mispronouncing Marwin Gonzalez

Minnesota's alleged interest in free agent utility man Marwin Gonzalez has sparked speculation on his potential place on the Twins’ 25-man roster.

For Your Dad, though, the real guessing game is what he’s going to call him.

Sources close to Your Family confirmed on Thursday that conversations about the possible signing concluded with Your Dad wondering why they’re signing “this Merlin Gonzalez character” instead of Bryce Harper.
Image courtesy of © Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports
“He was pretty animated,” said Your Stepmom. “He kept going on about how they have all this money to spend and that this Merlin fellow wasn’t going to help them beat Cleveland.”

Your Dad, who was heard discussing the effectiveness of Twins reliever “Travis Hamburger” last Labor Day weekend at a family picnic, appears to be weighing a couple options in misremembering the 29-year-old veteran’s name.

“Once Wheel of Fortune got done, he was fired up about the whole thing,” said Your Brother, who is living at home after the Bay Area start-up he worked at that sold artisan soaps over the internet went belly up. “It was all Dallas Kutcher (sic) this, Craig Kilborn (sic) that, and here the Twins are signing Merman.”

Your Brother confirmed that he meant the former Houston Astros mainstay, and not the fearsome half-man/half-fish.

“When he said Merlin earlier, I figured he’d stick with that, but the Merman thing was unexpected,” said Your Brother, who had to know that his former company’s business plan was unsound but has been chasing that big paycheck ever since dropping out of Hamline and breaking off his engagement with Nicole, who, let’s face it, was way too good for him and is probably happier with Nigel, her yoga instructor. “I really want to see how this plays out if Gonzalez signs and plays well.”

A person close to the situation said this has the potential to be Your Dad’s greatest Twins-related befuddlement since the Mike Pagliarulo Incident of 1991.

  • USAFChief, James, nicksaviking and 5 others like this

  • Share:
  • submit to reddit
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

32 Comments

Photo
Don Walcott
Feb 22 2019 09:30 AM

A story about my family on Twins Daily!! I'd feel honored, except this hit a little too close to home.

    • USAFChief, nicksaviking, PseudoSABR and 4 others like this

I don't know. He may help us beat Cleveland. Merlin is a bit of a wizard after all.

    • James, nicksaviking, Sconnie and 1 other like this
Photo
nicksaviking
Feb 22 2019 09:56 AM

I think Drunk Uncle is going to have something to say about that bat flip too.

    • Nick Nelson, USAFChief, Sconnie and 5 others like this
Photo
Nick Nelson
Feb 22 2019 10:15 AM

Excellent Craig Kilborn reference. An underrated Minnesota legend! 

 

MV5BMjExNDA4NDU1N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDM0

    • USAFChief, nicksaviking, Sconnie and 2 others like this
Photo
ScooterDance
Feb 22 2019 10:27 AM

100% my dad

    • nicksaviking likes this

Too funny man, I literally had to LOL. Nice.

    • NumberThree likes this

Personally, I've settled on Marvin.

Photo
RatherBeGolfing
Feb 22 2019 10:57 AM

My Dad still talks about how bad Delbert (Delmon) was in the outfield

    • nicksaviking and less cowbell more neau like this

My dad will definitely call him Marvin.

    • less cowbell more neau likes this

My dad once saw the sponsor's graphic during a pitching change on TV, and asked us, "Who's this new pitcher, Verizon Wireless?" (He pronounced it VARE-eh-zahn, but strangely pronounced "Wireless" correctly and still assumed it was a surname.)

    • ashbury and DocBauer like this
Photo
RaymondLuxuryYacht
Feb 22 2019 11:47 AM

Now pronounce it Dunn, as in done deal to the Twins

    • ashbury, James and nicksaviking like this
Photo
MMMordabito
Feb 22 2019 12:06 PM

 

My dad once saw the sponsor's graphic during a pitching change on TV, and asked us, "Who's this new pitcher, Verizon Wireless?" (He pronounced it VARE-eh-zahn, but strangely pronounced "Wireless" correctly and still assumed it was a surname.)

 

Now you just have to wait a couple years .... He'll be able to say "What is this new Booster Graterol sponsor? Is that one of these new goddamn clean hybrid fuels?"

    • David HK and MN_ExPat like this
Photo
Nine of twelve
Feb 22 2019 12:22 PM

Marwin Gardens, anyone?

    • USAFChief, gil4, nicksaviking and 3 others like this
Photo
Parker Hageman
Feb 22 2019 12:58 PM

Randball's Stu, Oracle of Twins Daily.

    • Brock Beauchamp, USAFChief, diehardtwinsfan and 1 other like this
Photo
Don Walcott
Feb 22 2019 01:19 PM

He's good insurance for Miguel Santos.

    • USAFChief, David HK and less cowbell more neau like this

This is when I miss Bob Casey

    • USAFChief, Jerr, Longdistancetwins and 2 others like this

i'm not sure about my dad, but i don't expect bert blyleven to say his name correctly one time this season

    • ashbury, Longdistancetwins, MN_ExPat and 2 others like this
Photo
IndianaTwin
Feb 22 2019 02:19 PM

Harry Carey would have called him something like Merle Zelaznog.  

Photo
Brock Beauchamp
Feb 22 2019 06:09 PM
Randball Stu has been absolutely killing it.
    • Tom Froemming and MN_ExPat like this

 

Randball Stu has been absolutely killing it.

Who's Randy Ballstew?

    • Brock Beauchamp, ashbury, USAFChief and 2 others like this

Rock oh ball deli.

    • David HK likes this
Best one so far!
Photo
TheLeviathan
Feb 22 2019 07:25 PM

I would wager on Martinez Gonzalez.....but this was brilliantly done.

    • David HK likes this
Photo
Brock Beauchamp
Feb 22 2019 07:52 PM

 

Who's Randy Ballstew?

I was trying to figure out a way to butcher his name so kudos to you.

 

I was trying to figure out a way to butcher his name so kudos to you.

Your butcher's name is Sudoku?

    • Brock Beauchamp, USAFChief, Oldgoat_MN and 3 others like this

Similar Articles


by Thieres Rabelo , 17 May 2019
Photo


by Andrew Gebo , 13 May 2019
Photo


by Tom Froemming , 11 May 2019
Photo


by Cody Christie , 06 May 2019
Photo


by Tom Froemming , 05 May 2019
Photo