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VIDEO: Opposing Pitchers Getting Wasted By The Bomba Squad

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 09:41 AM
Here's an entire highlight reel of just pitchers reacting to Twins bombas. Enjoy.  
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Scott Boras Wants a 162 Game Season - Playoffs in December

Other Baseball Today, 09:39 AM
The Twins least favorite agent strikes again.Could be chilly at Target Field, since Twins look likely to make Scott's December playoffs.O...
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Trevor Bauer doing breakdown of Max Kepler's HR strea...

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 09:13 AM
  https://old.reddit.c...ins_fans_in_my/     Not sure if anyone has watched any of his videos he has been making lately bu...
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Helfand: “early June start appears out of picture”

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:01 AM
https://www.twinciti...florida-orders/
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Thor done for the year

Other Baseball Yesterday, 07:19 PM
The trades that you did not make http://www.startribu...gery/569067112/
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Suggestions for Attracting Free Agents to the Minnesota Twins

With the winter meetings over and the pickings for free agent talent growing slim, it appears that the Twins need some help in landing players. They have a playoff roster and money to spare yet are finding no takers. Clearly, they need some curb appeal. Here are some suggestions for turning this whole thing around.
Image courtesy of © Andrew Dieb-USA TODAY Sports
Put some good-ass snacks in the dish at the front desk.
You know how when you go to a bigshot corporate office the receptionist has a bowl of, like, Jolly Ranchers or Life Savers at the main desk? Oh. Great. Thanks. But how about when it’s like whole candy bars or cold Gatorade or chicken fingers with an assortment of dipping sauces? You’d probably think, hey, these guys are awesome. Especially if you can pitch 200+ innings in a season and anchor the middle of a rotation for 3-4 years.

Hire Chip & Jo.
The hosts of Fixer Upper have managed to make total dogcrap houses in Waco, Texas look like attractive, desirable homes with a little shiplap and a lot of dad jokes and farm sinks. You gotta figure we can turn Chip loose with sledgehammer in the clubhouse and let Jo design the perfect workspace for a third baseman who can field the position and hit for power.

Offer a chance to record an album of duets with Joe Mauer.
The retired Twins catcher already has an apocryphal rap album in his discography. As a father of young children, he probably relishes the chance to get the entire hell out of the house. And who would turn down the chance to enter the studio with a future Hall of Famer to lay down some tracks over some sick beats? Definitely not a back-of-the-rotation starter with potential to be something more than that who you can sign to an affordable deal and coach up.

Abduction of a large adult male with upside.
OK. This is a tough sell. I already hear your objections about it being both a traumatic crime and that it was already done by the guy from Home Alone in the 1996 comedy Celtic Pride. But! What if the abductee with the ability to consistently give you six solid innings every fifth day goes Patty Hearst (kids ask your grandpa) and sympathizes with Minnesota’s inability to land a name free agent? We’re just saying that all options are on the table, and that by reading this you’re a criminal co-conspirator so you better just shut up if you’re thinking about squealing.

Offer to help him move without being asked.
I moved out of my home of 20 years in September. It was a lot of work! Chances are, as a professional athlete, this bullpen piece who can lock down the 8th inning has had to do this more than once and would appreciate Falvey and Levine showing up with a dolly and wearing those hernia belts. Maybe design the belts to look like WWE title belts with something like BEST FRIENDS engraved on them? Might work! Those sofa sleepers are a nightmare.

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29 Comments

I say go with Deception. Bring em to Fort Meyers and lead them to believe that we are the Fort Meyers Twins. Show them the beaches, proximity to Miami and Disney Land and don’t bother with the truth until Spring Training is over. By then maybe they will even like us!
    • Mike Sixel likes this
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tarheeltwinsfan
Dec 21 2019 11:36 AM

 

Screw that.

 

Just flood the coasts. Would anyone miss anything east of the Mississippi?

I'd miss my family and you TD readers wouldn't have my pithy posts.

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Lasorda_This_Out
Dec 21 2019 10:04 PM

Convince FA's that "Fargo" is NOT in Minnesota?

Hollywood flick that has forever cemented the perception of the "Land of Sky Blue Waters.."

 

Potential FA thought process....

 

"Do I want to sign with LAX, SAN, SFO, SEA, LGA, DCA, ATL, MIA, DFW or FAR?"

 

;-(

;-(

;-(

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The_Phantom
Dec 23 2019 11:14 AM

This is just being fairly dishonest, TBH. I am sure there have been some free agents with geographic preferences, but most of the time we hear that we weren't willing to offer that 5th year that the other club met, or our AAV was 5 million less. We can't expect free agents to think Minnesota is a lovely place to live and therefore take a lesser contract offer. It's as simple as the Twins aren't putting up the biggest offers so they're not getting the biggest free agents, despite the cash being there. 

    • Mike Sixel and Battle ur tail off like this