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Season of parity?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 12:54 PM
Only the Nationals in either league have won less than 3 games and no one in AL has won more than 6 games in this very young season but I...
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The 5 Rule Draft

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 12:29 PM
This year's Rule 5 draft we lost Akil Baddo and Tyler Wells. So I thought I'd check to see how they were doing. 1st I checked on Baddo, h...
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New Target field policy...no bags of any kind

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 04:48 PM
Thankfully we went before gates opened and were warned by a friendly security guy in advance that this year there are no bags of any kind...
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Ex Twins in 2021: Where Are They Now?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 12:05 PM
One of my favorite annual threads on the site. Let’s stay updated on ex-Twins in the news... This is a start of a list, and feel free to...
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Morneau

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:23 AM
I thought he was was really good last year. Maybe I'm on an opening day high (Not high) but he is so good.Who would have thought he would...
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Local Man Who Spent Entire Pandemic Studying J.A. Happ Facts Can’t Believe Luck

“I’ve spent ten months studying him, learning about him. I know him better than I know myself.”
Image courtesy of © Orlando Ramirez-USA TODAY Sports
Bill Boxmeyer had a lot of downtime.

The 37-year-old White Bear Lake man lives alone and has been working remote for his IT job since March. With not much else to do, Boxmeyer had hours to learn a new skill, read the great works of literature, or leave angry comments on Facebook.

He chose a different path.

"I figured I'd learn everything there was to know about the pitcher J.A. Happ," said Boxmeyer. "Yes, I know it sounds weird. But now who's laughing?"

Happ is reportedly signing a one-year deal with Boxmeyer's favorite team, the Minnesota Twins.

"The first thing you need to know is the 'J.A.' stands for 'James Anthony' but everyone calls him 'Jay'," said Boxmeyer. "As far as Happ facts go, that's the bare minimum you have to know or you're just going to embarrass yourself."

What drove Boxmeyer to not only focus his pandemic nights and weekends on a baseball player, but also on a seemingly random player like Happ?

"Yeah, that's a toughie," admitted Boxmeyer. "I had no interest in learning to bake or sew or anything like that, and I never got into video games. What I do like is someone who really drills down on one subject and is an expert on it, regardless of the relevancy or any overriding benefit to humanity. There's a guy I saw on the HGTV who is an expert on gravel. Who gives a damn about gravel? This guy does!

"So I decided I would be the gravel guy, but for J.A. Happ, who married Morgan Cawley in 2014. They have two children."

The fact that Happ appears to be on track to start for the Twins in 2021 continues to amaze the UW-Stout alum.

"I can't believe my luck, I'm not going to sugarcoat it," said Boxmeyer. "Once things open up a bit, I can go to the pub or even Target Field, and if anyone has any questions about that night's starting pitcher, they are sitting next to the one guy who can tell you anything you want to know about the 2009 NL Rookie of the Year runner-up."

As for other avenues of intellectual pursuit, Boxmeyer says he does have one regret.

"I work for an international pharmaceutical company, and I initially thought it would be good to just thoroughly educate myself on vaccine distribution and supply chains," said Boxmeyer. "I have to say that would have been way more useful. Like, both for myself and humanity. That said, I would not have known that Happ went on the injured list in 2018 with hand, foot, and mouth disease. And now you do, too."

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7 Comments

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LewFordLives
Jan 22 2021 07:20 AM
I could use the number of that gravel guy.
    • Dave The Dastardly and Huskertwin like this

Happ has given up 8 grand slam home runs in his career. Each of these was with the bases loaded. Not very clutch in that situation, if you ask me!

    • h2oface, LewFordLives and alphanumeric like this
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Dave The Dastardly
Jan 22 2021 12:42 PM

Did you mean to say "hand and foot in mouth disease"? I mean it's become pretty common these days. Wouldn't be surprised if its spilled over from politics into baseball what with all the whacko conspiracy theories floating around out there.           

 

Wait a minute! Was Happ's signing the result of a White Sox conspiracy? You know, get us to sign a player who the Sox are secretly paying to throw games (little play on words there).

 

Hold on, I'll check the internet... There's some anonymous guys out there who know everything.

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Dodecahedron
Jan 22 2021 02:32 PM

We didn't get hand, foot, and mouth disease in my day. We got real men's diseases, like dysentery.

    • LewFordLives likes this

We didn't get hand, foot, and mouth disease in my day. We got real men's diseases, like dysentery.


Dysentery? Luxury. Back in my day they would have made fun of me if I didn't contract Bubonic Plague at minimum.
    • Dodecahedron likes this

 

Happ has given up 8 grand slam home runs in his career. Each of these was with the bases loaded.

Would have been a lot worse if he gave them up without the bases loaded.

    • ashbury and DocBauer like this
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James Rivah Twins Fan
Jan 26 2021 08:22 AM

Oh yeah, bubonic plague was the you-know-what back in the day. Problem is you have to have rats and fleas to keep it going and, other than Ben and Socrates, rats aren't much fun. Malaria and yellow fever might be a better fit here in the land o' lakes, at least in the summer. 


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