Jump to content

Providing independent coverage of the Minnesota Twins.
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

The Forums

Do you really like the DH?

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 09:13 AM
We've resisted in the NL for 47 years now and with a 26th player added it may be delayed even longer. When offense is slacking they talk...
Full topic ›

Minor forum changes, please read

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 09:13 AM
We’ve received feedback that as TD has expanded its daily content, “Front Page:” threads are stymying community-created content by drowni...
Full topic ›

Twinsfest questions

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 09:10 AM
I am thinking about attending Twinsfest and had a couple of questions I hope could be answered: 1. Do you have to pay for autographs? 2....
Full topic ›

Donaldson contract discussion - 4/100? 4/110?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 09:08 AM
https://www.mlbtrade...-donaldson.html Hopefully this offer gets accepted as it would be a good way to wrap up the off-season. Big impro...
Full topic ›

BREAKING NEWS: Twins sign 4th-String Catcher

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:52 AM
January 15th, 2019 written by Diesel (Note: this is a satire piece inspired by many works, including RandBallStu) The Minnesota Twin...
Full topic ›

Local Goggles Sales Rep Banking On Minnesota Playoff Run

“I’ve got a warehouse full of these damn things. I’ve worked every weekend for two years. I need this. I need this.”
Image courtesy of © David Richard-USA TODAY Sports
Pete Tesch needs a win.

The 57-year-old Waconia resident sells swimming gear and swimming accessories for a living. In a state with long winters, the margins are slim and the selling season short. The best way to make it to the next summer: clubhouse celebrations by local sports enterprises.

“None of these guys wanna get prosecco and Budweiser in their eyes, it stings,” says Tesch. “They get their magic number down to single digits or get up 3-1 in a series, they come to Pete. Outside of the (Minnesota) Lynx, not a lot of teams have been coming to Pete.”

While swimming lessons and water parks provide some off-season income, Tesch says the real moneymaker is a pennant or a title run.

“Chlorine stings a lotta kids’ eyes, and those parks pump those water slides full of it because some dope from Mower County forgets to put a swim diaper on his triplets,” says Tesch. “Still, their folks are just gonna get some cheapies. Eddie Rosario? He’s going to get the Cadillac of goggles. He’s going to get the Seaview 180. He’s going to get a dozen of them.”

Tesch held up the swim mask in question.

“Retails for $89. Top-of-the-line. Sleek, comfortable, watertight. It has a snorkel for oxygen or liquor intake. I’ve got a warehouse full of these damn things. I’ve worked every weekend for two years. I need this. I need this.”

Tesch was asked if it mattered if the Twins clinched in Minnesota or on the road.

“Buddy. I will drive these things straight to Detroit if they clinch next week. I got the Google Maps on my phone. If Cleveland snipes them I’ll drive to Cleveland. I know their goggles guy. I’ll take him down.”

  • Parker Hageman, Sconnie, Dave The Dastardly and 1 other like this

  • Share:
  • submit to reddit
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

2 Comments

If Pete had any business sense, he would'a turned hisself into a one stop shop for post season to-do's. He'd also lock down the market on the 6 mil plastic sheeting they use to waterproof the locker room, and stock up on cheap champaigne. Have some "Minnesota Twins 2019 ALC Champions!!!" T-shirts already printed and overpriced.

 

Small time businesspersons stay small because they just don't see the big picture.

    • ashbury, Sconnie and tvagle like this
Photo
Dave The Dastardly
Sep 20 2019 03:08 PM

I got a pair of well-worn beer goggles I can loan out. Lenses are a little foggy, but that's the beauty of 'em!

    • ashbury likes this

Similar Articles


by Seth Stohs , 10 Jan 2020
Photo


by Nick Nelson , 05 Jan 2020
Photo


by Nick Nelson , 29 Dec 2019
Photo


by John Bonnes , 15 Dec 2019
Photo


by Cody Christie , 17 Nov 2019
Photo