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Donaldson contract discussion - 4/100? 4/110?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 06:27 AM
https://www.mlbtrade...-donaldson.html Hopefully this offer gets accepted as it would be a good way to wrap up the off-season. Big impro...
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BREAKING NEWS: Twins sign 4th-String Catcher

Minnesota Twins Talk Yesterday, 10:57 PM
January 15th, 2019 written by Diesel (Note: this is a satire piece inspired by many works, including RandBallStu) The Minnesota Twin...
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Front Page: Buzz on Baseball's Worst Scandal in Decades

Other Baseball Yesterday, 10:28 PM
In early November Oakland Athletics pitcher Mike Fiers shocked the baseball world by revealing that his former team had been cheating. Th...
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Forget adding SP, let's talk about keeping what we have

Minnesota Twins Talk Yesterday, 09:04 PM
Let's stop talking about adding more SP for a moment and recognize what we have and keeping it. There have been various discussions about...
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Front Page: 2020 Minnesota Twins Prospect Handbook Availa...

Twins Minor League Talk Yesterday, 08:35 PM
The 2020 Minnesota Twins Prospect Handbook will be now available.By clicking here, you can order the paperback version of the PDF/E-Book...
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Experts Say Twins Squirrel Following Familiar Path

“He definitely saw what worked for the MPR Raccoon,” said Freberg. “Winters are harsh around here, and this is the surest route to a warm place to live and all the garbage and acorns you can imagine.”

When Target Field’s “rally squirrel” returned to the diamond on Tuesday night, many were amused. For local rodent experts however, it was just another day at the office.
Image courtesy of © Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports
“I saw social media blow up again last night,” said Dr. Katie Freberg, Associate Professor of Small/Medium Animal Studies at Bethel University. “I wasn’t surprised. No one should be.”

Freberg says the squirrel, who reps say prefers to go by Gabriel Thee Squirrel or GTS, is following the example of the MPR Raccoon, the disgusting trash panda who scaled a St. Paul building by the public radio headquarters and now lives a life of opulence and leisure.

“(Gabriel) definitely saw what worked for the MPR Raccoon”, said Freberg. “Winters are harsh around here, and this is the surest route to a warm place to live and all the garbage and acorns you can imagine.”

The raccoon, most recently in the news for getting in a fight with internet personality Logan Paul during a DJ set at a Lollapalooza after party, also serves as a cautionary tale.

“The MPR Raccoon has not necessarily adjusted to the spotlight very well,” said Connor Padlewski, media consultant for Stabler Partners, a Minneapolis public relations firm. “The wild parties, the rumors of multiple rehab stays, the failed marriage to Joan Collins—he’s clearly had issues with his new status as an in-demand star.”

For his part, Gabriel says that he is happy to let his work for speak for itself. In a statement released to local CBS affiliate WCCO, the squirrel, speaking in the third person throughout, said that “Gabriel is going to do what’s best for Gabriel. He’s got his own thing right now, and if the haters are going to hate, let ‘em. Peace.”

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5 Comments

There's something comforting about having someone like you to explain these odd events to us as well as you do.

Thank you Stu.

    • USAFChief and Blake like this
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twinstalker
Aug 21 2019 09:08 AM

I'm not sure of the scale, so the exact size of this kangaroo is still a mystery to me.

Will Gabriel be available for postgame 'we hope' press conferences?Will Stu be available for squirrel translation?What does Gabriel receive if he inspires the Twins to win the World Series?  

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Parker Hageman
Aug 21 2019 02:59 PM

logan paul reference. 

 

this is the audience who knows and loves logan paul. 

    • Sconnie likes this

HAHAH i just noticed the Squirrel at the top of the webpage next to Daily. LOL