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Blake Snell a trade target or not

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 04:01 PM
I would personally be happy to offer up Kirilloff and a few other prospects for him!!! What do you guys think he would cost and would you...
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Is Cruz a MUST signing? And what if he doesn't fit?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 06:54 AM
Let me state I love Cruz and want him back if possible. I not only believe he brings class, experience, knowledge and leadership to the t...
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Free Agency / Re-Signings 2020-21 Offseason

Other Baseball Today, 08:11 AM
Free agency is likely going to be a really slow burn this year, but I still think it's worth having a thread to discuss signings. ...
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Twins Spotlight Episodes

Twins Minor League Talk Yesterday, 04:47 PM
I'm going to try to keep a running list of all of the Twins Spotlight episodes here. Feel free to discuss any of them, ask questions or l...
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Comments on 41 MLB baseball I visited with 5 to go

Other Baseball Yesterday, 09:05 AM
I've been to 41 MLB parks with 40 since 1993. I missed 5 or 6 starting in the early 1990s when I landed my first computer job and then jo...
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Twins Blogosphere


Attempt to Echo Robe Gimmick Backfires; Multiple Twins Injured

Novelty bikini briefs turn into ‘a perfect machine of groin havoc.’
Image courtesy of © Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports
Earlier this week, Josh Donaldson ordered customized robes for his fellow Minnesota Twins. The positive impact on clubhouse morale was immediate and they soon became a social and traditional media sensation. The follow-up is markedly less successful and leaves the team in dire straits entering the season’s final weekend.

Sources close to the squad say that over a dozen Twins are headed to the 10-day injured list due to issues stemming from custom embroidered powder blue bikini briefs with red lettering they received after Wednesday’s 7-6 victory over Detroit.

“The players got back to their lockers and found this custom underwear waiting for them,” said a clubhouse source. “Number in front, name in back. Lotta guys threw ‘em on after showering before heading back to the hotel. The problems became apparent shortly thereafter.”

The issues derived from two main sources: Stitching described as “razor-like” and the blue and red dyes seeping into the skin upon contact. They are the main ingredients in what a team official described as “a perfect machine of groin havoc.”

“The seams of the underwear basically acted like an emery board made out of slivers on the bikini area,” said the official. “Once the dye chemicals soaked into the abrasions, it became a disaster.”

“It looks like Chernobyl down there,” said one unnamed Twin. “My god. My god.”

“Everything is wrong,” said another. “The EMT said it looked like I gave birth to an angry Muppet.”

The team is not naming the players until all their families can be notified, nor are they revealing who provided the controversial briefs. Multiple media reports say that the logo for Windel Qual International, a Berlin-based company that manufactures chocolates, stainless steel cutlery, and adult novelties, could be seen on the underwear, turning attention to Germany's own Max Kepler.

The outfielder could not be reached for comment. Unconfirmed reports say he might be out of action the longest.

“He had a special thong-style one,” said a veteran Twins pitcher who asked not to be identified. “His (expletive) hinder looks like a (expletive) abattoir.”

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6 Comments

I stopped reading after the 1st sentence. I could only think that any understanding I gained from reading this could leave me permanently scarred . . . for-ev-er.

    • JoshDungan1 and Channing1964 like this

 

I stopped reading after the 1st sentence. I could only think that any understanding I gained from reading this could leave me permanently scarred . . . for-ev-er.

 

Lol ... I, on the other hand, had no problems reading this whatsoever! :) 

    • Melissa likes this

Angry Muppet.Well done.

    • DocBauer likes this

Same here, SQUIRREL!

Photo
Channing1964
Sep 26 2020 07:32 AM

I stopped reading after the 1st sentence. I could only think that any understanding I gained from reading this could leave me permanently scarred . . . for-ev-er.

do you mean scarred...or scared?
Got a website for this "Windel Qual International?"

Asking for a friend.
    • DocBauer likes this

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