An Open Letter from the 1974 Minnesota Twins
Image courtesy of J. Petty/Creative CommonsHello current Minnesota Twins. We, the 1974 Minnesota Twins, want to congratulate you on your hot start to this abbreviated season. It shows a great deal of resilience and mental toughness to not only take the field, but to have one of the best records in the league.
That said, you are also on track to shatter our record for worst home attendance in a non-strike Minnesota Twins season. Yes, there’s an asterisk because of all the health cautions, but someday in the future a kid is going to open a record book or use their Google phones and see 2020 as the rock bottom for paid attendance.
It’s not fair.
We had a good team in 1974. We had three Hall of Famers—Rod Carew, Harmon Killebrew, and Bert Blyleven. We had Tony Oliva. We finished above .500! Tickets were cheap and concessions were cheaper. And NOBODY SHOWED UP.
660,000 people made their way to Bloomington. Dead last in the league. 12th out of 12. AGAIN: WE HAD ROD CAREW.
Maybe people were afraid they’d miss something during the Watergate hearings. Maybe they were afraid a random Minnesota Viking would throw up on them at the Steak ‘n Ale on 494. Maybe they couldn’t believe it was 1974 and Harmon Killebrew was still playing baseball. Maybe they just hated Calvin. Maybe there was an Eagles concert at the Met Center and everyone was getting blitzed in the parking lot. It was 46 years ago, it’s hard to pinpoint an exact reason.
But the thing is, Met Stadium was empty. Not even the late-‘90s Twins bottomed out like that. And they have Pelting Chuck Knoblauch With Various Objects Night to hang onto. We’ve got nothing but those 660,000 hearty souls who would show up to watch Tom Burgmeier and Bill Hands. (Yeah, that’s right. We had a player named Bill Hands. What a ridiculous name! You’d know that if you’d have been there, but you weren’t.)
Our request: Don’t even note this year’s attendance. Pretend it didn’t happen. Please. Let us have this.
Warmest personal regards,
The 1974 Minnesota Twins
Image license here.
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