The Lighter Side

How did that happen? Am I being pranked?

OK, this is nuts, but I swear that I just saw the starting lineups for tonight, and Ryan LaMarre is starting for the Twins in center field. Now, I’m aware that Byron Buxton is out for the season and the rest of the outfield is hurt, slumping or both (Hurlumping? Slurting?), but this can’t be right, can it?

While your concerns over the Twins ace are valid, please do not contact emergency services or local parishes.

Twins fans have endured a tense pennant race while the team’s best starting pitcher has struggled mightily for weeks. And local authorities and religious leaders want them to know that there’s not much they can do about it.

Bet your child’s college fund on what happens to the talented and oft-hurt Twins outfielder next.

When Byron Buxton experienced a setback in his recovery from a shoulder injury this week, it cast a cloud over an otherwise positive run of play for the Minnesota Twins. It also caused Las Vegas bookmakers to reset the big board on what will next ail the star-crossed center fielder.

“He definitely saw what worked for the MPR Raccoon,” said Freberg. “Winters are harsh around here, and this is the surest route to a warm place to live and all the garbage and acorns you can imagine.”

When Target Field’s “rally squirrel” returned to the diamond on Tuesday night, many were amused. For local rodent experts however, it was just another day at the office.

After a ridiculous hot start for the Twins, they’ve been struggling to maintain their division lead over Clevelend. Something has been missing. An ace starter? A dominant closer? Byron Buxton? Nope. The team apparently needed a #RallySquirrel.

Tuesday night the Twins again fell into an early deficit to the White Sox. They came back to tie it 3-3 and were threatening in the bottom of the fifth when this happened:

Last night’s 12-7 win over the Rangers featured six runs before the Rangers got an at-bat, home runs by C.J.Cron and Miguel Sano, another solid relief outing by Trevor May and even two home runs from #OldFriend Danny Santana. But the inadvertent highlight of the game happened during the seventh inning stretch, and #MNTwins twitter was THERE for it.

It’s been close to a decade since the Minnesota Twins have been in an honest-to-Pete pennant race. You may not know how to act. Twins Daily is here to help.

If, like me, you’ve made the mistake of being on Twitter during a Twins game lately, you’d be forgiven for thinking the team was about to get contracted, and that a few fans would be thrilled were it to happen.

The newest addition to the Twins roster is an inspiring story of an undrafted pitcher’s rapid rise from the team’s farm system to the majors. It’s also the story of there being a young professional athlete named “Randy Dobnak” in 2019. In an exclusive Twins Daily investigation, we explore the type of person more likely to have this name.

Bloomington accountant oblivious to the events of the 9th inning in Miami on Thursday walks around Minneapolis as if life is full of joy and wonder.

After a series that ended with two gut-wrenching losses to the New York Yankees in front of a packed Target Field, many Minnesota Twins were taken aback by a startling development on Thursday: There was another game to play.

“I was going to clean out my locker and get some rounds of golf set up,” said one player who asked not to be identified. “Then the traveling secretary said to make sure I got to the airport on time for the flight to Chicago. I had no idea what he was talking about until I remembered it was still July. Whoa.”

Soft schedule gets softer for the AL Central’s defending champs.

The upcoming Cleveland series functions as a measuring stick for the rest of the Twins season. One Cokato man knows this all too well.