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Article: Position Battle: Center Field

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:41 PM
From Denard Span to Aaron Hicks to Jordan Schafer, the Opening Day center field assignment has been a bit of a revolving door for the Twi...
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2015-2016 Offseason Thread

Other Baseball Today, 08:31 PM
I sadly have to post this with my favorite player leaving my favorite team.   The Braves traded Andrelton Simmons and Jose Briceno t...
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REPORT: Former Minnesota Twin Delmon Young Arrested In Miami

Other Baseball Today, 07:14 PM
According to a Miami sports talk host, Andy Slater, former Minnesota Twins outfielder Delmon Young was arrested in Miami on Sunday night...
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Tyler Duffey

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 07:14 PM
He threw his curveball 39.8% of the time last year. That is the highest curveball rate since 2002, for starting pitchers who threw at lea...
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Article: Projecting Minnesota's Optimal Defensive Lineup

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 03:55 PM
Defense wins championships.In the baseball world, this cliche might not be completely true. Otherwise, there would be teams full of Andre...
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Ricky! Nolasco! Is! Excited!!!

News broke yesterday that former Marlins/Dodgers pitcher, Ricky Nolasco will be signing with the Twins. There are many things to consider in this signing: the sudden acquisition of a (relative) strike out artist for a "pitch-to-contact" team; the possible commitment through 2018 (making Nolasco one of only three Twins guaranteed that long a deal); the degree of responsibility and position of "leader" foisted on a player who has only recently tasted meaningful baseball; the question whether or not this will make any real difference to a team with so many pitching questions.

Attached Image: Nolasco_Ricky_Twitter.jpg But rather than ponder any of those things, we at Peanuts from Heaven will do what we do best: bring up something stupid and pretend it's important.[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]

Consider, if you will, Ricky Nolasco's twitter feed (my brother--who has helped me start another site here--pointed to the change in logo as proof that he was in fact coming here).

It is no stretch of the imagination to say that Nolasco's twitter feed makes ample use of the exclamation mark (19 in 6 posts, plus two more just for "LA")-- a device that some writers of the English language use to show "excitement, vehement commands or emphasize the intensity of an emotion." Or, as we refer to that in Minnesota, "going crazy".

There have been very few Twins players or even fans in recent years who could be accused of being either excited, vehement, or even having an intense emotion of any kind. So naturally we wonder, what Ricky Nolasco's first few days as a Twin will be like.


**Dream Sequence**
Ricky Nolasco sits at a press conference table with Terry Ryan, Ron Gardenhire and (face of the franchise) Joe Mauer

Ryan: We are very proud to introduce Ricky Nolasco as the newest Minnesota Twin [polite applause from assembled reporters].
Nolasco: YEAH!! What's up TWIN CITIES?!?!?!!!!
Reporter: Ricky, how do you feel about joining the Twins?
Nolasco: Amazing!!! Obviously! I get to be in the land of 10,000 Lakes!! That's 9,999 more than LA could offer!!!
Reporter: Do you feel any pressure because of your contract?
Nolasco: Sure!! But I can do it!!!! We've got a tremendous group of guys here, including one of the greatest hitters of all time in Joe Mauer!!! I'm so pumped to play with you Joe!!!
Mauer: Thanks, Ricky. I'm...ummm...really excited to play with you too...you know?
Nolasco: And I get to be coached by a former manager of the year!!! That's awesome!! Nothing against Don Mattingly or Mike Redmond, but, c'mon!!! This is Ron Freaking Gardenhire!!!
Gardy: Thanks Ricky-y...'preciate that.
Nolasco: It's gonna be amazeballs, you guys!!! I know you've had some hard times, but there are some total badasses coming up from the minors!! It'll be great to see them mature! And I'm so grateful that management trusts me to be a leader on a team destined for greatness!!!!
Ryan: Easy, Ricky, let's not get too riled up just yet.
Nolasco: What do you mean!!!?! This is just how I talk!!!
Gardy: We normally try to be very calm and level- headed whenever we can.
Nolasco: Oh, for sure, Skip!! Being level-headed is the BEST!!!
Mauer: What about, you know...polite, non-offensive, mutterings about trying hard and...ummm...stuff.
Nolasco: Sure, Joe! I'll try anything!! Why don't you try an exclamation!?!?!
Mauer: What would I exclaim about?
Nolasco: Anything!! Anything that makes your life great!! Your wife! Your kids!! Your job!!!
Attached Image: Nolasco_Ricky_Peace_720.jpg Mauer: Wild Rice Soup!
Nolasco: OH MY GOD!! YOU GUYS HAVE WILD RICE SOUP!!?!?

*End....Scene....*

Thank you Ricky Nolasco for reintroducing such a valuable punctuation mark to Twins Territory. Or, should we say: Thank you Ricky Nolasco for reintroducing such a valuable punctuation mark to Twins Territory!!!!


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