Jump to content

Providing independent coverage of the Minnesota Twins.
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

The Forums

Fangraphs (and other national publications) on the Twins

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 12:01 PM
I'm just going to post here whenever they do an article on the Twins.   Today, they have one on Trevor May (noting some changes in s...
Full topic ›

Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Indians, 9/26@6:10pm CT

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 12:00 PM
The Twins are in Cleveland for a 3-game series with the Indians. We all know the situation but there will be no talk about the Twins bein...
Full topic ›

Crazy, I know, but....the case for bunting

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 11:59 AM
So, I know the numbers. I have seen the tables. I know that outs are precious. I understand that sacrifice bunting reduces the odds of...
Full topic ›

Monitor: Manager of the Year and Fired?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 11:57 AM
Aside from the first team to go from 100 losses to the playoffs (sort of), they may also be the first team to fire a manager just before...
Full topic ›

Article: Twins Magic Number Reaches Two

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 11:33 AM
Following their three-game sweep at the hands of the New York Yankees, there was some concern among Twins fans that the team might find a...
Full topic ›

Ricky! Nolasco! Is! Excited!!!

News broke yesterday that former Marlins/Dodgers pitcher, Ricky Nolasco will be signing with the Twins. There are many things to consider in this signing: the sudden acquisition of a (relative) strike out artist for a "pitch-to-contact" team; the possible commitment through 2018 (making Nolasco one of only three Twins guaranteed that long a deal); the degree of responsibility and position of "leader" foisted on a player who has only recently tasted meaningful baseball; the question whether or not this will make any real difference to a team with so many pitching questions.

Attached Image: Nolasco_Ricky_Twitter.jpg But rather than ponder any of those things, we at Peanuts from Heaven will do what we do best: bring up something stupid and pretend it's important.[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]

Consider, if you will, Ricky Nolasco's twitter feed (my brother--who has helped me start another site here--pointed to the change in logo as proof that he was in fact coming here).

It is no stretch of the imagination to say that Nolasco's twitter feed makes ample use of the exclamation mark (19 in 6 posts, plus two more just for "LA")-- a device that some writers of the English language use to show "excitement, vehement commands or emphasize the intensity of an emotion." Or, as we refer to that in Minnesota, "going crazy".

There have been very few Twins players or even fans in recent years who could be accused of being either excited, vehement, or even having an intense emotion of any kind. So naturally we wonder, what Ricky Nolasco's first few days as a Twin will be like.


**Dream Sequence**
Ricky Nolasco sits at a press conference table with Terry Ryan, Ron Gardenhire and (face of the franchise) Joe Mauer

Ryan: We are very proud to introduce Ricky Nolasco as the newest Minnesota Twin [polite applause from assembled reporters].
Nolasco: YEAH!! What's up TWIN CITIES?!?!?!!!!
Reporter: Ricky, how do you feel about joining the Twins?
Nolasco: Amazing!!! Obviously! I get to be in the land of 10,000 Lakes!! That's 9,999 more than LA could offer!!!
Reporter: Do you feel any pressure because of your contract?
Nolasco: Sure!! But I can do it!!!! We've got a tremendous group of guys here, including one of the greatest hitters of all time in Joe Mauer!!! I'm so pumped to play with you Joe!!!
Mauer: Thanks, Ricky. I'm...ummm...really excited to play with you too...you know?
Nolasco: And I get to be coached by a former manager of the year!!! That's awesome!! Nothing against Don Mattingly or Mike Redmond, but, c'mon!!! This is Ron Freaking Gardenhire!!!
Gardy: Thanks Ricky-y...'preciate that.
Nolasco: It's gonna be amazeballs, you guys!!! I know you've had some hard times, but there are some total badasses coming up from the minors!! It'll be great to see them mature! And I'm so grateful that management trusts me to be a leader on a team destined for greatness!!!!
Ryan: Easy, Ricky, let's not get too riled up just yet.
Nolasco: What do you mean!!!?! This is just how I talk!!!
Gardy: We normally try to be very calm and level- headed whenever we can.
Nolasco: Oh, for sure, Skip!! Being level-headed is the BEST!!!
Mauer: What about, you know...polite, non-offensive, mutterings about trying hard and...ummm...stuff.
Nolasco: Sure, Joe! I'll try anything!! Why don't you try an exclamation!?!?!
Mauer: What would I exclaim about?
Nolasco: Anything!! Anything that makes your life great!! Your wife! Your kids!! Your job!!!
Attached Image: Nolasco_Ricky_Peace_720.jpg Mauer: Wild Rice Soup!
Nolasco: OH MY GOD!! YOU GUYS HAVE WILD RICE SOUP!!?!?

*End....Scene....*

Thank you Ricky Nolasco for reintroducing such a valuable punctuation mark to Twins Territory. Or, should we say: Thank you Ricky Nolasco for reintroducing such a valuable punctuation mark to Twins Territory!!!!


  • Share:
  • submit to reddit
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

Subscribe to Twins Daily Email

0 Comments