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Article: Twins Sign Closer Rodney To One-Year Deal

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Game Thread: Twins v Royals, 5/19 @ 7:10pm CT

As the Rockies leave Minnesota… the Royals arrive in Minnesota for a 3-game series. Both team names start with “Ro” so it’s almost like we are playing the same team. Now… there are some differences… but a few other similarities… like… they both play baseball and they will both try to beat the Twins. Both teams believe it is bad luck to be superstitious, both teams think Pelicans have an advantage when it comes to catching fly balls, both teams believe it is handy to use sign language and both teams do not believe in reincarnation and they didn’t believe in reincarnation last time either.
Good luck to all trying to tell these two teams apart but I’ll tell you this… only one is real at the moment.

Here are some things to think about:
1. Sioux Falls – 29% of the South Dakota state population lives in Sioux Falls. Due to weight distribution, the state is out of balance and this causes a slight tilt to the state. As a result of this tilt, everything in the state tends to roll toward the southeast. This has been proven through experiments conducted in Pierre. If you place an orange on the kitchen table, it will roll off toward the southeast. Because of this… Sioux Falls has been overrun with rogue oranges. Sioux Falls has a population of 178,500. Because the state doesn’t have corporate income tax the town has become overrun with bankers… and… umm… oranges. Approximately 154,000 of the 178,500 people are bankers. I know that sounds like a lot of bankers and you may ask what about the children. Well… most of the children are also bankers. Typical 8-year-olds are seen giving away toasters to people along with those little 'tell a friend' cards. An interesting fact about Sioux Falls… nobody would know what was happening in Hollywood if it weren’t for Sioux Falls. Pat O’Brien, of Access Hollywood fame, and Mary Hart, of Entertainment Tonight fame, are perhaps the most famous Sioux Falls alum and are both perhaps the world’s most famous bankers.

2. Our Twins – Who is pitching tonight? It is quite possible that nobody even knows because all the Twin Fans are thinking about is the performance of Jose Berrios last night. The 22 year old pitcher is now 2 for 2 when it comes to brilliant starts in 2017. He has 15.1 innings pitched so far with 15 strikeouts, 2 walks, 4 hits and a 0.59 ERA. That ERA is slightly better than the ERA he produced last year.

3. The Royals – The last time I wrote about the Royals… they were playing pretty bad. Today… as I write about the Royals… they are still playing pretty bad. Why? That would be the offense. The pitching hasn’t been terrible but the offense has. The Royals are dead last in runs scored. The current team leader in RBIs is Salvador Perez with 2.

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation
Montana: Hey Joe, throw me a beer out of the cooler.

McCarthy: What would you like?

Montana: I’ll take Michelob Ultra.

McCarthy: Joe… You?

Mauer: Hamm’s please

Maddon: Old Style for me

McCarthy: There ya go… and I’ll take a Pepsi.

Montana: Pepsi?

McCarthy: Well… if you guys aren’t drinking beer… neither should I.

5. Psychic - You gotta wonder about them. You never hear about them winning the lottery. In my opinion... the most effective way to predict the future is the hotel mini-bar... if you ever want to know what things will cost 10 years from now.
____________________

Lineups:

ROYALS
Alcides Escobar SS
Lorenzo Cain CF
Eric Hosmer 1B
Salvador Perez C
Jorge Bonifacio RF
Jorge Soler DH
Whit Merrifield 2B
Alex Gordon LF
Cheslor Cuthbert 3B

Nate Karns P

TWINS
Brian Dozier 2B
Robbie Grossman DH
Joe Mauer 1B
Miguel Sano 3B
Max Kepler RF
Jorge Polanco SS
Jason Castro C
Byron Buxton CF
Eddie Rosario LF

Hector Santiago P

Weather: 54 deg F, cloudy, winds from the ENE at 10mph, with a slight chance for snow.

Okay, I was kidding about the snow part. It shouldn't rain tonight. Definitely won't say that tomorrow.

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372 Comments

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Dave The Dastardly
May 19 2017 02:44 PM

 

Cheap beer has it's place. On a warm summer day, an ice cold Hamms is invigorating in a way a much fancier beer isn't. I'd like to see you play four games of beer pong and three games of flip cup with some Surly. I'd also like to see a poor college student get drunk on a Wednesday afternoon on a pricey IPA without turning to drug dealing and self-prostitution. That's right, Hamm's is a force for morality and a key cog in the war on drugs.

Here's a better analogy:

Being the best cheap beer is like being the fastest offensive lineman. You're not the fastest on the team but you're the fastest of a vital cog of the drinking team.

Cheap beer does have its place. When a college student and too young to buy beer in Minnesota, a car load of us would throw our pocket change on the bar in Sioux Falls (again with the thread) and if we could come up with $1.99 we could buy a case of Bubs. Another $.29 would net us a roll of Rolaids, which proved to be a nice chaser. There's a lot of good things I could say about Bubs beer, but I can't remember any of them. It had the consistency of karo syrup, which gave you plenty of time to upright your beer if you accidentally tipped it over, and tasted like No. 2 diesel fuel cut with ammonia (don't ask me how I know that) but it got you where you wanted to go. The problem was by the time we finished the Bubs we no longer knew where we wanted to go. Or which one of us had the Rolaids.

 

I often wonder how I managed to graduate from college.

    • ashburyjohn, birdwatcher, Riverbrian and 2 others like this

So let's say you order new furniture.... Is it normal to expect the company to pick up and discard your existing furniture? 

 

...

I often wonder how I managed to graduate from college.

After that post I'm guessing it's a question posed by many.:)

    • ashburyjohn, birdwatcher and Riverbrian like this
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ashburyjohn
May 19 2017 03:09 PM

So let's say you order new furniture.... Is it normal to expect the company to pick up and discard your existing furniture? 

Not unless I ask them to.

 

"Enjoy your new coffee table, sir."

"Yes, thanks, but what happened to our sofa, and china hutch... and the bed?"

    • USAFChief, Oldgoat_MN, Vanimal46 and 2 others like this
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sampleSizeOfOne
May 19 2017 03:26 PM

So let's say you order new furniture.... Is it normal to expect the company to pick up and discard your existing furniture?


I think the curb on trash day does provide me with that service more or less by default...

But i am confused by this word "new"...
    • ashburyjohn, birdwatcher, Riverbrian and 3 others like this
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Joe A. Preusser
May 19 2017 03:30 PM
I spend so much of my time on hererailing against negativity. And the one thought that has been running through my head all day is:

When is Berrios' TJ surgery scheduled for?

I don't know what's wrong with me.
    • ashburyjohn and Riverbrian like this
Yeah, that tax situation in South Dakota....the government is still getting theirs. Throw whatever title you'd like in front of the word tax...you're still paying it in some way, shape, or form at the end of the day.

Now, from this second forward, I want to think about nothing work related until 6 am Monday.

All I want is another division series win. These bats need to break out tonight. I feel like Dozier is due for a leadoff home run.
    • Riverbrian likes this
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Dave The Dastardly
May 19 2017 03:44 PM

 

After that post I'm guessing it's a question posed by many.:)

Mostly by my college professors.

    • ashburyjohn, birdwatcher, Riverbrian and 1 other like this
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twinsnorth49
May 19 2017 04:03 PM

Cheap beer does have its place. When a college student and too young to buy beer in Minnesota, a car load of us would throw our pocket change on the bar in Sioux Falls (again with the thread) and if we could come up with $1.99 we could buy a case of Bubs. Another $.29 would net us a roll of Rolaids, which proved to be a nice chaser. There's a lot of good things I could say about Bubs beer, but I can't remember any of them. It had the consistency of karo syrup, which gave you plenty of time to upright your beer if you accidentally tipped it over, and tasted like No. 2 diesel fuel cut with ammonia (don't ask me how I know that) but it got you where you wanted to go. The problem was by the time we finished the Bubs we no longer knew where we wanted to go. Or which one of us had the Rolaids.

I often wonder how I managed to graduate from college.


The only way I remember graduating from University is because of that piece of paper they gave me, which apparently is proof.
    • ashburyjohn and Riverbrian like this
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twinsnorth49
May 19 2017 04:05 PM

I spend so much of my time on hererailing against negativity. And the one thought that has been running through my head all day is:

When is Berrios' TJ surgery scheduled for?

I don't know what's wrong with me.

You spend too much time on here, that's what.....obviously.

Now, if Berrios ends up having TJ, you'll have to burn in eternal damnation.......sorry, nothing personal.
    • Jerr, Riverbrian, Oldgoat_MN and 1 other like this

 

I'm insulted that you don't consider Hamms a beer. It's the best of the cheap beers. For shame.

And as a child, always got out of bed to watch their TV commercials!!!! "From the land of sky blue Waters"!!!!

    • USAFChief, Riverbrian, Oldgoat_MN and 1 other like this

 

So let's say you order new furniture.... Is it normal to expect the company to pick up and discard your existing furniture? 

Depends......

    • Riverbrian likes this

 

And as a child, always got out of bed to watch their TV commercials!!!! "From the land of sky blue Waters"!!!!

I've been to the lake from the boundary waters. My buddies and I went on a canoeing trip after graduating and that was where we wanted to be. God we were poetic in our youth.

    • Riverbrian likes this

 

I've been to the lake from the boundary waters. My buddies and I went on a canoeing trip after graduating and that was where we wanted to be. God we were poetic in our youth.

Commercial had cartoon characters from the forest and a catchy "boom boom boom" beat.

never had a Hamms Beer, but may have to pick some up  ;)

    • Riverbrian likes this

 

Yep, that's it and in its glorious black and  white color  ;) always got me out of bed!!!

    • USAFChief, birdwatcher, Riverbrian and 4 others like this
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Joe A. Preusser
May 19 2017 04:46 PM

You spend too much time on here, that's what.....obviously.
Now, if Berrios ends up having TJ, you'll have to burn in eternal damnation.......sorry, nothing personal.


If JO needs Tommy John surgery I'll pass you the match myself.
    • ashburyjohn, USAFChief, Jerr and 2 others like this
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Halsey Hall
May 19 2017 04:51 PM

 

 

Yep, that's it and in its glorious black and  white color  ;) always got me out of bed!!!

Got me into bed, I worked there one summer.Worked at Schmidt's for 3 summers. Never had a lack of beer on hand. 

    • USAFChief, Jerr and Riverbrian like this

Mmmm....Hamm's.....

 

RB, that was a great explanation of South Dakota politics, where everything definitely tilts to the right- turns out it is the southeast, too.

    • Riverbrian likes this
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ashburyjohn
May 19 2017 05:31 PM

The only way I remember graduating from University is because of that piece of paper they gave me, which apparently is proof.

1pdidh.jpg

    • Riverbrian, twinsnorth49 and Dave The Dastardly like this
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Dave The Dastardly
May 19 2017 05:41 PM

 

I've been to the lake from the boundary waters. My buddies and I went on a canoeing trip after graduating and that was where we wanted to be. God we were poetic in our youth.

I was pathetic in my youth. Come to think of it, nothing's changed much.

    • ashburyjohn, Riverbrian and ThejacKmp like this

I knew that about South Dakota - about it being tilted to the southeast. I tried driving from Minnesota out to the Black Hills once and my car (it was a 4 cylinder Renault) kept rolling backwards. Some said it was because I didn't set the parking brake. But I couldn't see the advantage of setting the parking brake when I was trying to do 60 mph down the interstate. I finally gave up at the Corn Palace, got on the east-bound (and down - little play on words there if you remember the movie) lane, put the Renault in neutral and coasted all the way back to Sioux Falls. Which proved two things; French cars do get great mileage when they're going down hill and life is mostly uphill and full of reverses.
 
Speaking of reverses, I once tried climbing the Big Horn Mountains in a 1946 6-cylinder Chevy hippy school bus. The bus came to a dead stop in the middle of the highway about half way up, even though I had it in super low and the accelerator to the floor. Had to back down the switchback highway for over a mile before I could find a shoulder wide enough to turn around. I didn't get a lot of love from the cars trying to get around me. But I did get a lot of birds. Of course once I managed to turn the hippy bus around without dropping it off the edge of the mountain, it rolled all the way back to Sioux Falls without using any gas. Which was good because us hippies didn't have any money anyway.
 
There's another life lesson in there somewhere but I'm not sure what it is. That time period is kind of hazy for me.
 
Sort of like whether or not the Twins will get in a ballgame today.
 
Long way to go for a baseball connection... but it was fun getting there.


Just an idea here, about the bus trip-- maybe you just, kinda, like, thought you did, man?
    • Riverbrian and Dave The Dastardly like this

 

Is there any responsibility involved? 'Cause I've been trying to avoid responsibility for the last 13 years. Getting pretty good at it, too. Though my wife claims I've been mostly irresponsible for that last 33 years. I don't understand where she's coming from. I gave her four kids to take care of.

 

There is the responsibility of posting something prior to game time. 

 

Once posted... in my experience... there is no responsibility when it comes to what happens after you post. 

 

 

 

So let's say you order new furniture.... Is it normal to expect the company to pick up and discard your existing furniture? 

 

I don't know... I am often confused by "Normal"

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Dave The Dastardly
May 19 2017 05:52 PM

 

There is the responsibility of posting something prior to game time. 

 

Once posted... in my experience... there is no responsibility when it comes to what happens after you post. 

Can I do it incognito? I was actually in a bar once called "Cognito". I won't tell you what I did there because you won't be able to prove it...

    • Riverbrian likes this

 

Can I do it incognito? I was actually in a bar once called "Cognito". I won't tell you what I did there because you won't be able to prove it...

 

You can do it incognito and outcognito. Either way... i'm sure it will be neat-o