Game Thread: Twins @ Orioles, 8/20 @ 6:05pm CT
1. Baltimore -- A major city on America's East Coast that lies in very close proximity to Washington DC and Philadelphia and Delaware so nobody knows that it's there. Visit Baltimore, the official tourism department, has been working hard to raise the profile of the forgotten location with clever campaigns. In 2013... "Baltimore: Don't just Drive By" In 2014... "Baltimore: Come see why there are so many Drive By's". This year in 2015, tourism numbers increased from 17 to 36 with the new slogan... "Baltimore: We've got Crabs". Those blue crabs are tasty even if they come with the side effect of severe itching.
2. The Orioles -- Whoever had the idea of putting a sweet cream filling in between two chocolate wafers hit a home run. Everybody loves those Oriole Cookies. On the package it says that a single serving size is two cookies, so I'm just letting everybody know that I have the ability to eat 75 serving sizes in one sitting... provided I have enough milk. Of course the Baseball team was named after the cookie because the pitching staff routinely serves them up to hitters. There is nothing like an Oriole Cookie.
3. The Playoff Chase -- Well, now I've done it... I am publicly mentioning that the Twins are still in the playoff chase. The Twins are and nobody in Minnesota believes it. As a matter of fact... back when the Twins were 5 games ahead for the final wild card spot... nobody in Minnesota actually believed it. Here are some of things Minnesotans have said when told that the Twins are in contention.
Melvin Anderson from Red Wing: "Paul Molitor... are you kidding me? This is all his fault. I can't understand why they hired him in the first place."
Josh Olson from Baxter: "Playoff contention means nothing... This team is last in K/9 and DRS."
Steve Nelson from Bloomington: "The Vikings are starting soon."
Brian Peterson from Proctor: "I know the Gophers wish they were playing Hockey in the NCHC."
Randy Jenson from Moorhead: "Yeah but I don't have a single Twins player on my fantasy team so I don't watch."
Ole Larson from Oslo: "It doesn't matter what I say... Someone is going to twist my words into a joke about my wife and me."
Lena Larson from Oslo: "Ole... Da Turn Signals are Vorking... No Der Not... Yes Day are... no der not... yes day are... no der not... yes... no... yes... no."
Terry Ryan from 1 Twins Way: "Playoff Contention Smatention... Blah Blah Blah... What's the use?"
4. Miguel Sano -- We may be upset with the bullpen... We may be upset with Joe Mauer... We may be upset with Shane Robinson... but... not many are upset with Miquel Sano. Nine home runs now in 137 at bats... that's a home run every 15.22222 at bats for the rookie. To put that in perspective... Sano is out pacing Jonathan Schoop who has 9 home runs in 153 at bats.
5. Catching Crabs -- I went to Baltimore just a few months ago on my epic road trip. To get a true Baltimore experience I decided to do some crabbing. I rented a boat and went out on the Chesapeake Bay and I caught one. Much to my surprise you need a license and I didn't have one. A DNR official floated by and came on to my boat. He asked for my license and was ready to handcuff me when I couldn't produce one. I told him that I wasn't crabbing... I was just boating which caused him to point at my crab and ask, "What's that?" I told him that it was my Pet Crab and to prove it was my pet... I told him that I would put him in the water and he would come back to me. The DNR guy agreed to witness this... So I did and the crab didn't come back. This caused the DNR official to say... "So Where's your Crab?" and I replied, "What Crab?"
Game-time forecast: 82 deg F, humid, 69% chance of precipitation (thunderstorms), winds from the SSE at 8mph. Hmm, I see a doubleheader in our future perhaps.
Play ball! Go Twins!
- James likes this