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Relevant magic numbers with tiebreakers accounted for

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:58 AM
After the games of 9/22:   TB over Min: 2 CWS over Min: 4 Oak over Min: 5 Min over Cle: 2 Min over NYY: 4
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Seeding

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:44 AM
This crazy year of 2020 has introduced another new term to MLB playoffs, "seeding". I don't pretend to understand all of it but I do know...
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The Perfect Length of a Baseball Season?

Other Baseball Today, 08:46 AM
So Twitter got me thinking... What's the perfect length of baseball season? And then what's the perfect playoffs to be paired with that s...
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LT contracts for current star position players

Other Baseball Today, 08:26 AM
I see that Yelich is still effected by a broken kneecap from last year and has a longterm contract now through 2028. It always raised an...
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Game Thread: Scoreboard Watching, 9/24/2020 at 5:10 PM CDT

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 08:18 AM
Please pardon me for this highly unusual thread, but we live in highly unusual times...   Fire up your MLB.TV machines and join me f...
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Recent Blogs

Precocious Child Thanks Rich Hill for New, Fun Words

Cherubic Prior Lake second grader rains torrent of filth on family, friends.
Image courtesy of © David Berding-USA TODAY Sports
Damien Holsapple has four words for new Twins starting pitcher Rich Hill.

“[expletive] thanks, Mr. Hill!”

Holsapple, who begins second grade at Jeffers Pond Elementary School this fall, has watched every Twins game this year, including both of Hill’s starts. The veteran starter’s colorful language, easy to pick up without any fans in attendance, has made quite the impact on the precocious youngster.

“That son of a [expletive] said a lot of cool [expletive],” said Holsapple. “I can’t wait to tell my [expletive] teacher, that dumb [expletive]!”

Holsapple’s mother says she’s concerned but is rolling with it.

“Damien’s very bright and picks up on things super quickly,” said Heather Stamey. “I didn’t know that the microphones were going to capture all the chatter in quite that detail and I let him know those words were not OK. Going forward I told him he should just watch with the volume down, like his father does when (Bert) Blyleven is on the broadcast.”

For his part, Damien is just happy to discover new frontiers in language and personal expression.

“[Religious expletive] tapdancing [religious expletive], this summer was pretty [expletive] lame until baseball happened,” said Holsapple. “[Expletive], I don’t even know what the [expletive] tapdancing is, but the way Mr. Hill says it makes it sound [expletive] awesome.”

Damien says he’s also been sharing some of the new words with his younger sister, Alice, who recently turned four.

“When Mom told her it was time for bed last night, Alice said ‘Kiss my [expletive] [expletive] you [expletive] Irish [expletive], that was a [expletive] strike,’” said Damien. “Mom got pretty mad but I saw Dad laughing really [expletive] hard behind her. I told Alice to put a [expletive] baseball glove over her mouth next time she wants to use the fun words like Mr. Hill does when he doesn’t want those [expletive] humps in blue to hear him.”

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5 Comments

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Gary_Wayne_Guy
Aug 21 2020 08:54 AM

<Expletive> Baybalon Bee quality there!

    • Channing1964 likes this

<expletive> me, I love this

    • Channing1964 likes this
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Channing1964
Aug 22 2020 04:33 AM
LMMFAO
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Channing1964
Aug 22 2020 04:34 AM
AND THEN SOME MFING MORE

Babylon Bee to the T !!!


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