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GAME THREAD: Twins @ Angels, 4/16/21, 9:38 PM CDT

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 04:43 PM
It’s always thrilling when your team snatches victory from the jaws of victory, as the Twins did yesterday afternoon at Target Field agai...
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Twins Minor League Report: Depth Camp Opportunites

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 03:15 PM
Spring Training 2021 certainly was different than most years, but one of the interesting parts was the implementation of the depth camp....
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Effects of the shift

Other Baseball Today, 02:20 PM
This was a discussion about the effects of defensive shifts in baseball, split from today's game thread. Feel free to join in below!...
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A rant

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 01:08 PM
I've been on about this for two years now, but Baldelli really needs to get over the idea that his best players need a game off every wee...
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Morneau

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 10:57 AM
I thought he was was really good last year. Maybe I'm on an opening day high (Not high) but he is so good.Who would have thought he would...
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Local Copy Editor Pleads With Twins to Keep Kyle Garlick

“The headline possibilities are endless. I need this. We need this.”
Image courtesy of © Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports
With the Twins looking to build their Eddie Rosario-less outfield for the 2021 season, many tantalizing names are getting thrown around. Fans are clamoring for prize prospect Alex Kirilloff, while others are intrigued by the power of Brent Rooker. However, one Minnesotan has his eyes on a less-discussed option.

“They gotta bring Kyle Garlick up,” said Star Tribune copy editor Kenneth Tuss. “They just gotta.”

Tuss, who has worked at the Newspaper of the Twin Cities for over a decade, was quick to note this was not due to any personal relationship with the 29-year-old journeyman outfielder.

“If he goes out and hangs a 4-for-5 on the White Sox, the headline is right there: GARLICK MINCES CHICAGO. I can hear the soft chuckles from Bloomington and St. Louis Park already.”

Tuss is often tasked with adding headlines to Twins game stories. The job is not always a glamorous one, and any chance to seed some wordplay into the morning paper is welcome.

“The headline possibilities are endless,” said the Minneapolis resident. “In a troubled time for print media and newspapers all over, I need this. We need this. Think about it: He sails a relay throw that allows the winning run to score. Now you’ve got yourself a ROASTED: GARLICK ERROR BURNS TWINS.”

The veteran journalist admits that he spent the last week running through all the garlic puns he could use instead of maintaining contact with family, friends, and the outside world.

“I guess my mom and dad got their vaccines on Monday, which is good for them I suppose,” said Tuss. “But think about the following: Kyle Garlick hits a walk-off home run that lands on the plaza. GARLICK MASHED. Or if he makes a diving catch to bail the team out of a high-leverage situation? TOO MUCH GARLICK SALTS AWAY SERIES SWEEP. That gives you alliteration too. He might be the most important Minnesota Twin of 2021, if not all time.”

Tuss says this is the most excited he’s been for a Twins season since 2018, when he heard an unfounded rumor that they might acquire Chicago reliever Aaron Bummer.

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5 Comments

Kenneth Tuss? For an editor I would have gone with Mark Tupp, or Adeline Moore.

 

And Kyle Garlick's parents should have named him Eureka, instead.

    • ScrapTheNickname and Scott51104 like this
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Dave The Dastardly
Mar 12 2021 09:08 AM

I always hoped the Twins would've signed Les Fish, or Gil Hook. You know, given our 10,000 lakes.

    • ashbury likes this
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chi-town twins fan
Mar 12 2021 09:48 AM

I don't know how you missed this one: Garlick stinks up the joint.

    • ashbury and ScrapTheNickname like this
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sampleSizeOfOne
Mar 12 2021 06:56 PM

Kenneth Tuss? For an editor I would have gone with Mark Tupp, or Adeline Moore.

And Kyle Garlick's parents should have named him Eureka, instead.


Those sound like robust editors more suited to prime content. Remember Kenneth is low cal.
    • ashbury likes this
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AlwaysinModeration
Mar 13 2021 07:39 AM
It is a bummer those rumors were just that. We thought we knew the source, but when pressed, Garlick denied having started them.
    • ashbury likes this

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